A Two For One Deal
by Sparklin Kitty
Summary: I'm Mistoffelees, but I'm also Quaxo. Two completely different cats, one body.  EEZ IN FIRST-PERSON!Eez Mistoria, but doesn't say so below cuz it's mostly just Misto and Quaxo's lives...
1. That's just life

**Author's Note: This is my attempt at First-person. It is also my explanation for the Misto/Quaxo deal and my reason for why Misto doesn't sing his own song. I still prefer him being just plain old Misto. Please imagine them as Jellicles, but they have school. They don't wear clothing.**

**And, please don't think I'm insensitive towards people who stutter, one of my good friends stutters pretty badly, and my sister (one of them) has a speech impediment.**

**A Two For One Deal**

**The Fourth fanfic my Mistoffelees fan-kit!**

**Is first-person! WOOT**

~~~Mistoffelees~~~

I hurt. So bad. He wouldn't go away!

"Momma!" I mewled, crying as the voice came back, "Help!" Momma rushed over to me, her face looked so sad, just like mine probably did.

"What's the matter, Mistoffelees?" She picked me up, soothing me with her words, "What's wrong with my baby?"

"He won't go away!" I mewed, "Make him stop it!" Momma looked around nervously. I sucked on her paw quietly, ignoring my head hurting.

"Make who stop what?"

"There's a kitty in my head! He says he wants to talk to you!" I let go of her paw. She looked nervous again. That scared me a lot.

"Was it daddy?" Momma brushed my headfur. I smiled; that made the hurting go away. But it came back and I cried out.

"No. It wasn't daddy. He says you're his momma, too!" I buried my face in her fur, and I got it all wet because of my tears, "But you're only _my_ momma, right?"

"Yes, sweetie. Why does he want to talk to me?"

"He wants a name!" I forced out. The kitty in my head wouldn't go, even though I told Momma what he wanted. He made my head hurt, I didn't like him one little bit.

"He wants a name?" She looked even more scared now.

"Momma, just give him a name!" I shouted suddenly in my tiny kitten-voice. He was pounding on my skull. Momma set me gently on my mat of shredded cloth scraps.

"What sort of name does he want?" Momma asked gently, leaning down on one knee.

"He says for me to show you him first." I looked at her through my tear-filled eyes. She nodded slowly.

_Momma says I have to show you to her. _I whimpered to the voice Momma couldn't hear.

_Told you so! _It mewed in a voice similar to mine. I flinched; that voice was loud! Suddenly, I felt funny, Momma gasped. I looked at my paws. One was turning white! My tail-tip had gone white, and so had my legs! My vision got blurry, and I couldn't really see Momma anymore.

And that's how I met Quaxo.

~~~Quaxo~~~

I could see better when Mistoffelees let me out. It made me happy to be able to talk.

"Mistoffelees?" Momma said, "What's been done to you?"

"Nothing!" I mewed indignantly, "My name's not Misto-fleas! I don't have a name yet." I climbed out of the bed-nest and rolled onto the floor. Momma laughed and scooped me up, but she still looked sad.

"What do you want your name to be?"

"I want you to tell me!" I squeaked. Momma gave me a funny look, like she could see inside of me.

"How about... Quaxo?" She said, after sitting there for forever.

"I like it!" I purred, testing how my voice worked.

"You're certainly nothing like your... brother." She said quietly.

"Who's that?" I looked around, but no other kitten was there.

"Mistoffelees."

"Oh. Misto-fleas is my brother?" I was happier that I might have a playmate, but I didn't ever really like Mistoffelees. At all.

"Yes. Now go to sleep." I nodded quietly as she put me back down onto the mat. Just before I closed my eyes, I swear I saw Momma crying.

~~~12Years Later (That makes them 16)~~~

~~~Mistoffelees~~~

I opened my eyes. For once, I actually woke up in my side of the den. Quaxo had dozed off at a party, which left me in charge of getting our drunken body home safely. I've asked him to quit partying on school nights, but he ignores me. Every time. I've asked him to at least quit drinking the alcohol they somehow find at the parties. But still, he won't listen to me, the broken record.

If I haven't mentioned it already, I have a horrible stutter. I developed it almost immediately after I regained control over myself after Quaxo made his first appearance. My mother (No, I don't call her Momma anymore) took me to see Jellylorum, who said that I had been traumatized and would probably lose the stutter in a few weeks, along with my alter-ego. I refuse to call him my brother.

It's been twelve years. Quaxo's still here, and I still stutter. But, look on the bright side, Quaxo was three sheets to the wind last night – I would know, I felt the immediate aftereffects – so he probably won't be up for quite a while.

I quit staring at the roof of the den and got up, looking around our room. Half of it is mine, filled with books and notes, and the other half is Quaxo's. On his side of the room, every inch of the den is plastered with pictures of his girlfriend, Jemima. It's obsessive, how much he thinks about her. I walked to the entrance to the rest of my family's den.

"M-m-mom?" I called out, grimacing at the way the words broke up in my mouth, "Are y-y-you up yet-t-t?"

"Yes, dear." She replied, walking out of her area of the den, "How did you sleep?"

"Fine." I kept my responses short, hating the sound of stuttering. I walked over to my bag of schoolwork and slung it over my shoulder.

"You need to eat something." She scolded, "It helps kittens concentrate in class." She held a dead mouse out to me.

"I'll b-b-b-be f-f-fine, Mom." I meowed, but grabbed the mouse anyway. I was about to head out of the den, when she grabbed my shoulder and spun me around.

"Just make sure you get here – as yourself – so I can give Quaxo the talking-to he needs."

"Sure." I agreed, then walked outside, squinting in the sunlight. I nodded at Tumblebrutus as he walked by, and got a small smile in return.

I headed to my best friends' house. They're twins, with psychic powers, and they have a rather... odd way of talking. It's not as bad as my stuttering, but it creeps people out.

I was about to knock on their door, when it swung open. Tantomile – the queen twin – looked outside and smiled when she saw me.

"You're -"

"- Early." Coricopat finished, stepping out from behind his sister.

"And t-t-t-t-that's a bad t-t-t-thing?" I asked. T's are the hardest for me to get out, and then S's.

"No, it's -"

" - Absolutely fine with-"

" - Us."

"Good. T-t-then, let-t-t-t's get g-going." I said. They walked to school with me every day. No other cat really liked to hang out with us. Quaxo's got a lot of friends, but they're wary of him, too. They think he'll suddenly turn into me. That _has_ happened, and vice-versa, at least six times, now.

The school's pretty close to Coricopat and Tantomile's den, so it's not really a long walk. That's for the best, I suppose, then there's less of a chance that we'll get stared at.

"We found some stuff-" Coricopat meowed, brandishing a think pack of papers underneath my nose.

" - On your condition, and why you have it." Tantomile finished, going through the papers in her brother's paw, "Here." She thrust a paper underneath my nose, "We copied this from a book that we found in the library."

**Magicians and Twins**

Magicians are extremely powerful beings. Oftentimes, they cannot control their powers. Which is why all magicians born have a twin that the powers are shared with. If they don't, they may be consumed by the power. There is another option, however. They may develop an alter-ego of sorts.

**Alter-egos in Magicians**

When a magician develops an alternate personality, the original personality loses some traits, and gains others. The alternate personality may take a different form, while sharing the same body, or look exactly like the other magician. They are considered to be two different entities who happen to share the same body. It can have devastating effects on a magician who has grown up without the alternate personality, then suddenly develops it. But, it is very rare for this to happen.

"That's what we think-" Coricopat pointed to the part about alternate personalities.

"-Happened to you." The twins started walking again. I ran to catch up with them,

"T-t-t-they forgot-t-t-t to ment-t-t-ion how ann-n-noying alter-egos c-c-can be." I muttered, thinking of all the times Quaxo had gotten into trouble, then forced me to come out and save our tail. He never learned.

"Tantomile's not exactly my first choice to hang out with." Coricopat snickered, then dodged Tantomile's paw.

"And you're not perfect, either!" She retorted. I stepped in between them without a word. I kept them from hitting each other, but they still glared over my head. I'm the shortest tom in the entire Junkyard. Well, Quaxo's my height, too, but he makes up for it by being a comedian.

"C-c-come on g-guys, let-t-t-t's just get-t-t to class-s-s." I dragged them to the classroom, "You d-don't-t want t-t-to be l-l-late, right?"

"Fine." They muttered in unison.

They walked the last few steps to the only classroom we have, and opened the door. I followed them in, ignoring the usual snickers and whispers as I walked to my seat at the front of the class. I had to sit there so that Jennyanydots – our teacher – can make sure that Quaxo stays in line.

The Gumbie Cat pulled a piece of paper out of a hole in the wall that she used as her storage area and started checking off names.

"Alonzo?"

"I died."

"Very funny. Cassandra?"

"Present."

"Coricopat, Tantomile?"

"We're here."

"Bombalurina?"

"Here."

"Rum Tum Tugger?"

"He's skipping."

"Wonderful. Tumblebrutus?"

"I'm here, but Pouncival's sick."

"Okay. Exotica?"

"Right here."

"Plato?"

"He's sick, too."

"Victoria?"

"I'm here."

"Jemima?"

"Present."

"Electra, Etcetera?"

"I'm here, but Etcetera's skipping with Tugger."

"Mungojerrie, Rumpleteaser?"

"We're 'ere, Miss."

"Mistoffelees? Or is it Quaxo today?"

"I'm M-M-Mistoffelees t-t-t-t-t-today, m-ma'am" I stuttered as quickly as I could.

"Good, your brother is a horrible distraction to the class."

"I k-k-know, ma'am." The were snickers and whispers of "teacher's pet!" and "Suck up!" I ignored them as best I could.

~~~Almost the end of the school day~~~

Most of my day passed in a blur. The math test, the science pop-quiz, the extra homework in geography, I didn't really pay any attention to it.

I was standing, my back to the classroom, getting my books packed back up, when a cat pushed me into a wall.

"Get-t-t-t off!" I yowled, then I shut my mouth when I noticed that a queen had run into me by accident.

"I'm sorry, Quaxo." Victoria meowed, stooping down to grab my books.

"I-t-t-t's Mis-s-st-t-t-offelees." I replied, a hint of annoyance worsening my stutter.

"Oh! I'm so embarrassed." She stuck my books back into my arms, and I almost dropped them again. Bast, she was beautiful.

"T-that-t's okay."

"Um, would you mind helping me study? Quaxo said it was all right." She brushed a stray strand of fur back behind her ear.

"Sure." For once, I didn't mind my alter-ego telling people what I would and wouldn't do.

**Author's note: Tell me if I suck at first-person.**


	2. Quaxo's Apology

**Author's Note: I GOTS REVIEWS! WOOT! Nobody said that I suck at first-person, so I'm continuing! Well... I got some private messages on the love-interest thingy, so I private messaged the people my explanation. Thanks for being polite enough not to criticize in your review, anonymous person! You gets a virtual Misto pin! Er... This'll switch from Misto's POV to Quaxo's POV and vice-versa. Starts out in Quaxo's POV, this time around. HeheheHE!**

**I've never, ever had alcohol cause I'm underage, so I don't know if the hangover is accurate... Read some books where people had hangovers, so...**

**Chapter Two: **

Quaxo

I rolled out of my nest on my side of the den and groaned, I had the _worst _hangover. My head was pounding like some sort of miniature drummer was beating on my brain, and I had an awful taste in my mouth. Why had I let Alonzo convince me to go to that stupid party, anyway?

_I told you not to. _Mistoffelees muttered snobbishly in my head. He was Mr. Oh-so-perfect, never the one caught partying. He had no idea how to have fun.

_Just shut up and go away. I like you better when you're quiet. _I retorted, hoping that he wouldn't hear my private thoughts.

_You never leave _me _alone._

_I did all day yesterday!_

_You were hung over. In a drunken stupor. Remember now?_

_Whatever, Misto. Cool it._

_My name is Mistoffelees, not Misto. And you're going to be late for school, genius._

_Who cares?_

_I will MAKE you go to school._

_How? _I almost laughed at the thought, but my head hurt too much.

_I will come out, go to school, then force you out._

_Poor teacher. _I snickered sarcastically.

I walked into the main part of the den. Mistoffelees was fully capable of forcing us to change in class. He hated it as much as I did – seeing the looks on our classmates' faces when we'd change color slightly, then shake our head and be a different person.

"Quaxo." My mother was sitting on the floor of our den, waiting to ambush me. I flinched at the sound of her voice; it didn't help my headache.

"Mom?"

"Mistoffelees was drunk last night."

"And that has what to do with me?..." I looked at the roof of the den, hoping I had gotten Mistoffelees too sloshed to speak coherently.

"Everything, according to him."

"Wait. Hold it. How did you understand him? If he stutters, and he was slurring..." I stopped, I should _not _have said that.

"Quaxo, he said you were the one drinking alcohol." Her glare seemed to go right through me. I shuffled my paws.

"I, er... may have had a little bit to drink."

"Enough for it to get Mistoffelees drunk?" Mom was practically shouting now.

"Apparently." I grumbled, wishing that I was just a little bit more responsible. I just couldn't stop having fun once I started, I guess.

_You've got that right, Quaxo. It wasn't enjoyable, having an even harder time speaking._

_Go be quiet or something. Mom's talking._

_Well, I wouldn't know that, now would I?_

" - AND YOU'RE NOT EVEN LISTENING!" I jumped when Mom shouted, and Mistoffelees cowered farther back in our mind. Even I rarely saw our mother this upset.

"I'm sorry, Mom."

"Sorry doesn't cut it!" She'd stopped shouting, at least, "You could have been banished! You could have overdosed! You could have _died._"

"I'm really, really sorry, okay?"

"No! It's not okay! How am I supposed to trust you? How will you grow up to be a respectable young tom?"

"I-I don't know what else to say. I'm sorry. Really." That time, I wasn't lying just to get her off my back. I really was sorry, and would try my best not to do it again.

"Look, Quaxo. I'm only doing this so that you don't get yourself killed. I love you, and that's why I do these things." Mom looked like she was about to start crying.

"I understand." I meowed quietly; I hate it when she cries, especially when it's my fault.

"Then you'll understand why I'm giving you a curfew." I gasped; Mom had never gone so far as that.

"What about Mistoffelees? What if he's out past my curfew?"

"I have to do the same to him, only because you two lack full control over when you change personalities."

"Okay." I sighed; there was no way I was getting out of this one.

"I want you home and inside by nine o'clock, understand?"

"Yes, Mom."

"Good. Now go to school, you're already late."

"Yes, Mom." That was my immediate response to everything, don't make a fuss, just do what she said.

I walked outside, rubbing my head. Today was promising to be a bad one. How come I couldn't ever be responsible? Mistoffelees was able to sit still in class, I had to fidget and make faces when Jennyanydots wasn't looking. Sometimes, I just wished that I could be the good kid for once. I know it sounds stupid, but I can't help being a little louder than everyone else, a little sillier. It's just who I am.

I ran into Victoria on my way to school.

"Sorry." I meowed, moving to the side so she could get past. Unfortunately, she had the same idea. I moved to the other side of the path. So did she. I got tired of moving back and forth, rinse and repeat, so I took her shoulders and spun her around so that I was on the other side.

"Thanks." She laughed, smiling.

"No problem." I replied.

"Oh, Mistoffelees said that he'd help me study, Quaxo. Thanks again for helping me ask him."

"All in a day's work."

"Ask him if tonight's good, please?" I didn't even bother asking Mistoffelees. He didn't have a life, so he wouldn't care if I told her to come over.

"He said it was fine. Right after school?" I hated being his wing-tom, but that's what brothers – or multiple personalities – do, right?

"Sure."

"Well, I have to go." I meowed, heading to Tumblebrutus' house. He was my best friend. I knocked a paw on his den, and his mother, Jellylorum, stepped outside.

"I'm sorry, Quaxo, Tumblebrutus can't come to school today. He and Pouncival caught some sort of bug and I don't want it spreading."  
"Sure. I have to be going, before I get counted as absent." I meowed, sidestepping any questions she might have as to why I was so late. She nodded, and went back inside. I hurried off to school, faster than I'd ever gone before. I didn't want to give Mistoffelees another excuse to brag.

I ran into the school-den, earning a few strange looks from the few cats in the hall. I walked into the classroom.

"I have...ARRIVED!" I shouted, throwing my paws in the air at the last word. I felt Mistoffelees shrink with embarrassment. I ignored him, listening to my classmates laugh. I loved the attention, I just soaked it up.

"You're late, Quaxo." Jennyanydots scolded, checking my name off her list.

"I'm sorry." I meowed sarcastically, bowing low enough to bang my head against the floor. She was not amused.

"Get to your seat." I sat, pulling faces behind the Gumbie Cat's back. She picked a thick book off the floor. I shivered. Learning. Not my thing.

_Now would be a good time to get your genius tail out here, Mistoffelees._ I thought as quickly as I could, hoping that my alter-ego hadn't decided that it was time for a catnap.

_What do you want me for? _He yawned, _I was having a very good dream, Quaxo._

_Just shut up and get out here. The learning is going to kill me!_

_Whatever. You owe me one._

_Fine. But hurry up! _I felt lightweight all of a sudden. I smiled as most of my white markings disappeared, and Mistoffelees took over.

~~~Mistoffelees~~~

I shook my head, ignoring the well-earned stares from my classmates. It's not normal when a tom changes color and is suddenly a different cat. Even when the tom is me, it's still not normal.

"Everyone turn to page three hundred ninety-seven in your science books." Jennyanydots meowed, turning around, "I see that you've decided to oblige us with silence, Quaxo."

"Er, I-I'm Mist-t-toffelees, actually m-ma'am." I muttered.

"Did you see him at the party?" Bombalurina whispered behind my back, thinking I couldn't hear, "He was stumbling all over and tripping over his paws. Even Quaxo can hold his alcohol better than Sir Stutters-a-lot."

"Bombalurina!" Jennyanydots meowed, "Is there something you'd like to share with the class?"

_Bast! She'd tell the whole Junkyard, if given half a chance! _I buried my face in my paws. This was what I got for having a near-insane alter-ego.

_Hey! I've been chewed out enough, thank you very much._

_Not nearly enough, actually._

"Sure." The scarlet queen winked at me before continuing, "Mistoffelees was sloshed two nights ago. It was a sight you'd pay to see, I swear." The class broke down into a fit of uncontrolled laughter at the thought of me stumbling around drunk. Jennyanydots gave me a strange look, I assumed it was sympathy; she had no idea what a terrible gossip Bombalurina was.

"Well," The Gumbie Cat was obviously flustered, "Let's continue. Alonzo, stop making the book into spitballs."

"Sure." The black-and-white tomcat flicked his spitball at me. It stuck in my fur. That was going to take a while to get out.

"Class, please read to page four hundred." There were groans and whining from the cats. I ducked another spitball and started reading.

I may have read the words, but I didn't remember any of it. I just couldn't concentrate.

_You're supposed to be the smart one! _Quaxo whined.

_I'll reread the chapter tonight._

_Nerd._

_Moron._

_Teacher's Pet._

_Ignoramus._

_Mr. Oh-so-perfect._

_You think I'm perfect?_

_No...Yes...Maybe..._

_Well, I'm not. I can't get through a sentence, remember?_

_Oh, yeah! _Quaxo brightened at the thought. I grimaced and focused on the page in front of me. The chapter had something to do with a cat's anatomy, and giggles were erupting all around the classroom. I ignored them as usual, and shut my book. I looked around. I was the first one done, what a surprise. Tantomile and Coricopat shut their books and nodded at me. I smiled weakly. Then Jennyanydots stopped grading papers.

"Class is over. Remember to study for tomorrow's test." I gathered my books up for break, when the Gumbie Cat called out, "Mistoffelees, I want you to stay after class." I groaned quietly.

"Y-y-yes-s, ma'am?" I walked over to her.

"Is what Bombalurina said true? Were you drinking two mights ago?"

"N-no, m-ma'am. Q-Q-Quaxo w-was t-t-t-the one drinking." She relaxed, then got agitated again.

"Quaxo. Was. Drinking?"

"T-t-that-t-t's w-what I said, ma'am." I – oddly enough – felt like I should protect Quaxo, "But-t-t it is a f-f-f-family mat-t-t-t-ter."

_Aw, shucks. I feel wanted._

_Please be quiet, Quaxo._

_Never. It's impossible for me to!_

_Obviously._

_Twinkle-toes._

_I refuse to respond to that._

_Too late!You already did!_

"Well, have you told your mother?"

"Y-y-yes ma'am. S-s-she dealt-t with it-t-t."

"I'll talk with her tonight."

"Yes, ma'am." I walked out of the classroom without another word.

~~~At the end of the day~~~

I gathered up my books warily, on the lookout for queens aiming to run into me. Victoria ran up, and I flinched, but she stopped moving in time not to hit me.

"Hi." She meowed.

"H-h-hello." I was astounded that she'd talk to me for two days in a row. No queen – except Tantomile – ever talked to me.

"Quaxo said you'd help me study after school today."

"S-s-s-sure!" I stuttered, a little too eagerly.

"Um... you have a spitball in your headfur." Victoria pointed out. I picked at it self-consciously.

"Erm... I c-c-couldn't get-t-t it out of m-my f-f-fur." I rubbed it, and it still wouldn't come out.

"Oh dear. Let me help you." She laughed and gently pulled it out. I stared at her.

"How?"

"You must have loosened it." She threw the spitball in the trash, "Now I have to go wash my paws."

"S-s-sorry." I felt like an absolute idiot.

_You are one._

_Yeah, right. That's why I'm the one to take tests._

_Okay, you're a smart idiot._

_That makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. _

"It's okay. It's not like Alonzo wouldn't have spitballed me if he had the chance."

"Um... d-d-do you want-t-t me t-t-to w-w-wait for y-you?"

"Yeah. I don't know the way to your den."

"J-J-Jemima prob-b-bably has it-t memori-z-zed."

"I wouldn't be at all surprised." Victoria laughed again and walked off to the basin of water to wash her paws.

_Misto, she's WAY out of your league._

_And that's coming from the cat who can't shut up. I'm shocked Jemima would date you._

_Says the broken record._

_Says the idiot with the giant ego._

_Blah, blah, blah. Not listening!_

_You don't have a choice. We share a mind, remember?_

…_.I...Cannot...Hear...You...Misto..._

_Then why are you answering me?_

_Still...can't...hear...you..._

_Sure._

_What? I'm not listening, remember?_

_Then shut up._

"Mistoffelees?" Victoria waved a paw in front of my face, "Anyone home?" I blinked.

"S-s-Sorry. I must've s-s-s-spaced out-t t-t-there." I didn't tell her I was talking to Quaxo. We both agreed never to tell anyone that the other personality had a sort of... semi-consciousness while the other was up and about. That would be too weird for any cat I know of.

"You do that a lot, don't you?"

"Dep-p-pends on t-t-t-the d-day."

"Well, let's get going."

"Yeah." I walked to my family den, hoping that I wouldn't suddenly turn into Quaxo. That would be awful. He was just as smart as me, he just refused to learn, seeing as I did all that for him.

**Author's Note: I'm sorry for the abrupt ending, but this chapter was getting too long.**

**REVIEW!**


	3. Notes

**Author's Note: Oh dear.. I have no idea what I'm doing with this story.**

_**Bold italicized is Mistoffelees writing.**_

_Italicized is Victoria writing._

**Chapter Three: Notes**

Mistoffelees~~~

"Ok-k-kay, you t-t-t-take t-t-t-t-t-this d-decimal an-n-nd y-y-you move it-t-t t-t-t-t-three s-s-spaces-s t-t-to t-t-the ri-right." I pointed to the math problem Victoria was stuck on.

"What?" She looked at me, bewildered.

"What?" I repeated, confused as well.

"What did you say?"

"Er...I-I'll j-just writ-t-te it d-down." I pulled out another piece of paper from underneath my mat and wrote;

_**You take the decimal and move it three spaces to the right. **_Victoria smiled and replied to my note.

_I see. You make it sound so much easier. _She scribbled something down on her math homework.

_**Thanks. Why are you writing? You don't stutter.**_

_It's fun, not having to talk all the time._

_**According to you.**_

_What do you like about talking, then? _That stopped me. I looked at her and poked the math book. She laughed. _Don't change the subject. I like to get to know people._

_**Fine. I guess that I'm just jealous how fast you can all communicate. I have to stutter or write notes. Not fun.**_

_I don't know. I like writing. _I sighed and wadded up the paper, throwing it across the room.

"J-j-just d-do your mat-t-th homework-k-k." I muttered, "That's what we're here f-f-for."

"Fine, Mr. Grumpytail. I'll just do...This!" Victoria laughed and pulled out another piece of paper, writing on it.

_What are you gonna do about this? _She scratched a line underneath the last word with a dainty paw.

_**I'll ignore it. Like so... **_I made a series of dots, covering half the paper. She laughed. I smiled at the bell-like sound.

_I see, I see. But if you reply, doesn't that mean you're not ignoring me? _I shook my head slowly, and pointed to the math book again. She sighed and did another problem.

_**Maybe.**_

_I think it is. Now how do you work this problem- ½y2 + 9y ? _I looked at the math book.

_**Simple. ½ multiplied by y, which equals ¾, plus nine times ¾ again.**_

_Oh. I feel really stupid._

_**Don't feel stupid, that was a bit of a hard problem. **_I rubbed her shoulder gingerly, nervously. Surprisingly, she leaned into it, smiling beautifully.

_Not really. I used to be able to do ones like that easily._

_**What changed? **_Now it was my turn to ask the questions. She shook her head and pointed to the math book. **_Oh, no. You tell me. I told you what you asked. _**I tried to smirk like Quaxo, and failed miserably. My face was more used to smiling shyly, not smirking like a handsome tomcat.

_Ah, well. I guess that it's because of Plato. He won't leave me alone. Try this catnip, Victoria. Try this whiskey, Victoria. It'll be fun, Victoria. He may be my tomfriend, but I just...nevermind. _Oh. She had a tomfriend. There goes whatever minute chance I had with a queen.I rubbed her back impulsively again and she smiled weakly.

"That feels really good." She meowed, shutting the math book, "I'm finished."

"Oh. W-w-well, do you want-t-t to st-t-tay a lit-t-t-ttle longer?" I was shocked at my own boldness. Me, actually asking a queen to stay a while.

"Sure, I can stay for dinner, I guess."

"Do you wan-n-nt to come ov-ver t-t-t-tomorrow f-f-for s-s-studying?"

"I can't, I've got ballet."

"Oh." I sighed and self-consciously ran a paw through my headfur, "How-w ab-b-bout t-t-the d-day after?"

"That's Saturday."

"Oh." I felt like banging my head against the den. How could I be so stupid?

"But I could use the extra study time." I smiled weakly at her trying to save me from embarrassment.

"Af-f-ter you." I swept my paw theatrically to the exit of my room, blushing inwardly at my silliness. Quaxo was rubbing off.

"Why, thank you, kind sir." She laughed and gracefully left the room with a curtsy.

_I think she likes you. _Quaxo piped up suddenly.

_You think? _I smiled hopefully, then frowned; no queen in the world could like me, I'm so shy and introverted. I'm the kid who hid from Jennyanydots when I was five. Seriously. She scared me to _death._

_Heck yeah, bro. She was flirting._

_Really? _

_Yep. But I am not letting you have all the fun. _Quaxo took over then.

~~~Quaxo~~~

_You already have a queenfriend. _Mistoffelees whined. I rolled my eyes.

_Yes, but I'm not going to _flirt _with her. I'll be your super bipolar wing-man! Bash you one minute, help you the next._

_You're so helpful._

_I know! _

I cartwheeled out of my room, shouting, "Did anyone miss me?"

"Not really." Victoria giggled. I could see why Mistoffelees liked her. She was sweet, nice, caring, pretty, a heck of a dancer, a fair singer-

_Hey! You've got a queenfriend, stupid._

_I am not stupid! _I grumbled inwardly; this is what I got for letting the line "There never was a cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffelees" get in his stinking song. Just because it was true.

_You really think I'm smart? _My "brother" asked half-hopefully.

_No. Not really. You're just annoying. _I lied, then turned to Victoria and my mother.

"Mistoffelees invited Vic here for supper." I flicked my white-tipped tail towards the snowy queen. Mom nodded and pulled out another pillow for her to eat on. Victoria glared at me.

"Please don't call me Vic." She muttered, turning her head away.

"Okay...how about Vicky?"

"Even worse."

"Er, Toria?"

"Nope"

"Tory?"

"Hm...no." I sighed; queens were absolutely impossible!

"Tor"

"Sounds like a tom's name."

"Any hints?"

"No."

"Ugh! Misto, help me out!" Victoria gave me a strange look. Bast! I must've said that out loud.

_Well, why don't you try a kittenhood nickname? Most queens love it when you remember._

_Where did you learn that?_

…_.Mom...Maybe..._

_You asked her for queen advice? _I choked in a laugh. I must've looked pretty weird, because Victoria gave me one look and doubled over, consumed by giggles.

_Possibly, you know, on a slim chance._

_Okay...Back to topic! What did you call Victoria when she was little?_

_Duh. Rory. _He snorted, something I hadn't thought possible when he didn't control the body.

_Cute. _I thought sarcastically, poking Victoria's white shoulder. She jumped, and I stuk my tongue out at her. She glared then turned to face me fully.

"What nickname have you come up with now? Violin? Something even worse?"

"Nope." I rolled over onto my back. "Mistoffelees said he called you Rory when he was a kit. Do you like that one?"

"Maybe" She smiled, letting me know that she did like that name. A lot.

"Am I allowed to call you that?"

"No."

"Who is?"

"Mistoffelees. And Plato."

"Aw...somebody's got a crush!" I meowed in a singsong voice. Victoria slapped me playfully.

Mom stepped out of her cooking area.

"What do you two want? Fish paste, tuna, mice, or pigeon?" I smiled; Mistoffelees couldn't stand tuna, and the aftertaste would drive him nuts.

"Tuna." I said immediately. Victoria agreed enthusiastically.

"Why am I afraid you're plotting against your brother, Quaxo?" Mom asked, slicing the tuna from the "kitchen".

_Ugh! Why, Quaxo, why? _Mistoffelees gagged when our nose picked up the smell. I felt sorry for him all of a sudden. I worried that I'd lost my touch, but Mistoffelees never, ever ate chicken because I hated it. Was I really going to be that mean?

_Sorry, bro. I'll rinse my mouth out, promise._

_You'd better. _He warned, relieved. Mom came out with a cracked dish of tuna. I impulsively pinched my nose, hoping Mistoffelees wouldn't gag again. I did not want to end up getting sick.

"I thought you loved tuna, Quaxo." Mom meowed, feeling my forehead.

"I do, but he doesn't" I pointed to my head, ignoring how odd my voice sounded when my nose was plugged, "It makes him sick."

"Oh! You're mean, Quaxo!" Victoria exclaimed.

"Normally I eat it. So I think I'm getting better at this 'nice' thing." I grumbled, not unplugging my nose because the smell was starting to make me sick as well.

"I'll go get the mice." Mom meowed, "You two both love that. How about you, Victoria?"

"I'd like some mice." She said politely, not wanting to make Mistoffelees sick. I slumped against the wall, attempting to ignore Mistoffelees gagging in my head.

_Do I sound like that when you have chicken?_

_No, you're – gag – more of a – gag – drama queen._

_Thanks._

"Quaxo, you're green." Victoria crawled over to me.

"Am I?"

"Yes." She looked worried, maybe I should act like this around Jemima.

"Stupid Mistoffelees. I can never eat tuna again." I moaned dramatically, falling sideways while clawing at the wall.

_See? Total drama queen._

_At least I don't sparkle._

_Neither do I! _It seemed he was done gagging.

_Oh, really? _

_That's my magic!_

_That sparkles._

_Fine._

"Really, Quaxo!" Mom stepped out with three mice dangling from her paws, "Look what you've done to the wall!"

"Mom, we live in a _junkyard." _I sat up and rolled my eyes.

"My den is clean, however. And I refuse to let you make it look like a true junkyard."

"Whatever." I sat back on my pillow beside Victoria.

There was silence while everyone ate. Eventually, Victoria spoke.

"I need to get home. Tell Mistoffelees I said thanks for the help, and for supper." I nodded, busy making walrus tusks out of a pair of sticks. Mom slapped my paw and I sheathed my claws and walked the white queen to the door.

"You're actually not as mean as I thought." Victoria wrung her tail in her paws. I nodded slowly.

"I have my moments."

"However few and far between they may be?"

"Exactly. See you Saturday."

"Won't I be meeting Mistoffelees?"

"Who says I won't make an appearance? I love parties."

"Goodbye, Quaxo." She rolled her eyes.

"Goodbye, Victoria." I rolled mine in a horrible imitation of the slightly taller queen.


	4. I can't do this

**Author's Note: Sorry, sorry, sorry! I've been so busy lately, with school, my vampire-kitty story, a top-secret story, and my artwork. But I'll try to update more frequently.**

**Chapter Four: I can't do this**

**~~~Quaxo~~~**

I looked at a broken bit of mirror hanging on my wall and smoothed my headfur for the fourth time. Today I was going on a date with Jemima. I was so nervous I couldn't sit still. I paced around the room, flicking my tail back and forth irritably. I was so agitated that I was making the lights in my room flicker on and off.

_This is only the seven hundredth time you've gone on a date with her, so there's no need to be nervous. _Mistoffelees sighed, trying to come across as bored, but I knew how jealous he really was. I did feel guilty over it, but Jemima wasn't very fond of him.

_Mistoffelees, toms get nervous when they go on dates with queens. _I explained patiently, _Not that you'd know anything about that. _

_Whatever._

"Quaxo, Jemima's here!" Mom called into my room. I smiled and stepped out, looking at Jemima.

"Hey, Jemima." I meowed, grinning.

"Hey, Quaxo." She replied, "Ready to go?"

"Yep." I smiled and took her arm, preparing to leave when Mom hissed into my ear.

"You have until nine o'clock. The curfew still stands." She said, then waved at us when we left.

~~~Outside~~~

"Where do you want to go?" Jemima purred, walking towards a little-traveled part of the Junkyard. I happily went along with her, wondering what exactly she was doing. She dragged me to a broken mattress and sat on it, staring at the sky.  
"The moon is beautiful, isn't it?" The dark queen meowed, resting her head on my shoulder. I smiled, these were the times I loved the most.

"Yes, almost like you." I nuzzled her head.

"You know those cheesy pickup lines won't work on me." She giggled, purring.

"Then why do I hear a purr?" I teased, twirling a strand of her headfur on my claw.

"Because I'm happy." She replied, climbing into my lap. I wrapped my arms around her, wondering only for a moment how Mistoffelees felt about this development.

"You're lucky you're so small." I smiled at her.

"Why is that?" She asked, her already large eyes widening even more in confusion.

"Well, with my size and all, I don't think it would be a good thing if you were taller." I replied, holding her closer.

"You know another reason why our height similarities are good?" She asked flirtatiously, leaning nearer my face.

"Why is that?" I breathed.

Jemima pressed her lips upon mine with a passion I didn't know she had in her. I winced as she wound her paws into my headfur, but I kissed her back happily. I heard her soft purr in her throat, and I felt mine joining it, mingling in perfect harmony. It was a golden moment.

Of course, Mistoffelees had to come along and ruin my life. I felt the familiar lightweight sensation, and our body was his.

~~~Mistoffelees~~~

I felt myself regain control over our body and I noticed that Jemima's lips were squashed against mine. I recoiled instantly, dropping my arms, which I then realized were wrapped around the dark queen's body in a way that wasn't, er, _suitable_ for company.

"What's the matter, Quaxo?" She asked, not realizing that it was me in the darkness. "What happened?"

"Uh...I... it-t-t's Mistoffelees." I muttered, blushing furiously. She looked at me, the hurt in her eyes turning to anger.

"Why couldn't you let him be with me?" Jemima hissed, her expression dark and unreadable.

"I di-d-dn't mean t-t-to." I apologized hastily.

"You didn't mean to?" She repeated , hopping out of my lap. "Then why don't youbecome Quaxo again? There's... something I need to tell him." She looked at me, as if expecting me to immediately comply.

Of course, that's what I did. I nodded slowly and attempted to contact Quaxo.

_You there, Quaxo? _I thought, _I'm really sorry, I don't know what happened._

_It's fine. _He huffed curtly.

_She wants to talk to you, so it can't be all bad, can it?_

_I know she wants to talk. Which is very, very bad, Mistoffelees._

_How so? _I asked, wondering how naïve I sounded.

_You'll find out when I talk to her. _Quaxo said, and I swear I heard him sniffle. Then he took over the body again, to my immense relief.

~~~Quaxo~~~

"Jemima, it's me." I said softly, stroking her headfur. She jerked her head away, eyes glistening with tears.

"I-I can't do this anymore, Quaxo." She sighed and sat back down on the mattress.

"Do what?" I asked, somewhat stupidly.

"I can't handle this relationship. It's so unstable, Quaxo. I have to be able to reschedule any date I have with you when you're Mistoffelees and I'm constantly worrying that you'll turn into him." I started to speak, but she cut me off. "Don't, Quaxo, just...don't. You know I have a reason to be afraid you'll turn into him, because it's happened many times now. I wish we could be together, but I'm afraid I want a normal tom. I'm leaving you, Quaxo." She gave me one more peck on the lips before she walked away. I slumped to the ground; that night, I was going to tell her that I loved her.

_That...horrid, absolutely awful queen. _Mistoffelees snarled in our mind, _I'll...I'll...argh! _

_You won't, bro. We both know it, but thanks for the thought. _I quietly thanked him, grateful but surprised at his reaction.

_I just can't believe she dumped you. You're everything I'm not, and I have all the bad qualities._

_No, you don't. I'm going to wallow in self-pity now if you don't mind. _I sighed and held my head in my paws. My chest ached with the effort of keeping the heartbroken sobs inside. A small whimper escaped my lips anyway. I sniffled and wiped my eyes, standing up and walking to my den.

~~~In their den~~~

I walked into the den and headed straight to my room. Mom saw my expression and gently grabbed my shoulder, spinning me around.

"What happened?" She asked gently, her eyes wide with anxiety.

"I don't want to talk about it." I huffed.

"You look like you need to, though." She said, gently guiding me to a cushion in the main part of the den. I sat down slowly, refusing to look at my mother. She seated herself next to me. "Is it Jemima?" She asked.

"Yeah." I heard myself say. "She-she...left me...and I was going to tell her I loved her." I felt the words come tumbling out of my mouth and the tears start to fall.

"Oh, kitten, if I could make this all better, then I would." She pulled me into her lap like she had done when I has younger and hugged me tightly. "But sometimes, a queen doesn't feel the same way for a tom as the tom feels for her."

"I know." I sniffled, wiping my eyes and climbing off her lap.

"Quaxo, I know you'll both find the right queen someday. A queen that understands you both." She nuzzled my head. "I'll get you some cream, okay, kitten?"

"Yeah, Mom. Thanks." I gave her a watery smile as she walked of to get a bowl and the last of our cream.

She returned a few minutes later with the bowl. I nodded my thanks as she handed it to me. She smiled when I lapped the cream up. She waited until I had finished before she spoke again.

"Quaxo, it's going to get better, I know it will." Mom meowed. I suppressed a scoff; she – the queen who still loved Macavity, the Napoleon of Crime, said that is got better after you lost your first love. Sure.

I didn't respond as I walked into our room and very carefully removed every picture of Jemima from my side of the room and stuck them somewhere where I wouldn't lose them, but could never see them. Then I flopped limply onto my mat and sighed heavily. All I wanted to do was wake up and have this all be a dream.

_Reality doesn't work like that. You can't wish all the bad things away._

_Thank you for the insight, Dr. Mistoffelees._

_Sarcastic as ever. I am sorry she left you though, but she just wasn't the queen for you._

_I'm thinking we might need a queen for us._

_What do you mean by that?_

_I don't think a queen wants to date half of a tom._

_Oh. But no one likes me!_

_I know._


	5. Hurting

**Author's Note: Er...Wells...we have another chapter.**

**Dear Quill of Thoughts, Yeah...they weren't their normal selves, but Quaxo _was _just left by his girlfriend, and Mistoffelees took up the mantle of being the protective "older brother" so to speak. Although a lot of the things they said could've been phrased better, now that I re-read it...**

**Oh! The date! Right now, the story date is Sunday.**

**Chapter Five: Hurting**

~~~Mistoffelees~~~

I snapped my fingers irritably, creating a few stray sparks that caught in my fur and sparkled.

"Hey, twinkly!" Tugger called, Bombalurina and Etcetera hanging on his arms. "Got a tomfriend yet?" On cue, the girls laughed, looking at the main coon's face to see if he was smiling. My jaw dropped. They'd never gone so far as that.

"What d-d-id you s-s-s-say?" I stuttered like an idiot. Surprisingly, Quaxo had no snide remarks for me today.

_I'm not in the mood. _

_You are aware of the fact that I really am sorry, yes?_

_Where'd the sudden eloquence come from? And yeah, I know._

_Sorry...I sometimes use a lot words when agitated...I be sure to keep it under five words next time. _I teased him like usual, forgetting that he'd just lost the queen he loved.

_Will you just leave me ALONE? _Quaxo shouted suddenly in our mind. I knew he was acting out of hurt, but his thoughts stung. I felt awful about my behavior. What I had in brains, I lost in social skills.

I flicked my tail and ignored Tugger, his queens, and (somewhat guiltily) my alter-ego. I walked over to Coricopat and Tantomile's den without another word, never hearing the Main Coon's response.

The twins stepped out of their den in sync, unerringly perfect in their pace. I read Tantomile's expression and could immediately tell that she was reading my mind. I shut my thoughts down as best I could, but they already had the answer to their question.

"Jemima broke up-" Coricopat meowed matter-of-factly.

"With Quaxo. We told him-"

"That is was inevitable-"

"But-t-t-t he wouldn't-t-t-t-t l-l-l-listen." I cut in. "Some-h-h-how, I'm not s-s-s-s-surprised-d. Al-t-t-though Jemima really w-w-w-was cruel about-t-t-t-t-t-t it. I was t-t-there. Even he d-d-d-d-doesn't de-s-s-s-serve that kind of let-t-t-t-down." They nodded in time with each other as we started to walk back inside their den.

I gave a minute smile when I saw the familiar inside of their den. It was lined with astrological charts and horoscopes they'd created. It really felt like the inside of a witch's house. I loved the eerie atmosphere it gave off. But my happiness was marred by the constant pang of Quaxo's hurting and loneliness that I felt inside me. I could tell he wanted to curl up into a ball and just...cry. Because that was how he was making me feel. I sighed and stared at the roof.

_If you were just normal, then I wouldn't have this problem! _Quaxo's angry, hurt thoughts seared themselves into my brain. I flinched involuntarily at the volume of his voice.

_I know, Quaxo. We're failures. Freaks of nature. The tom with multiple personalities. Oh yeah, everyone wants to be friends with - _

"Hey, buddy-"

"Are you all right?" The twins eerily similar voices broke my depressed spiral. They didn't wait for an answer when they saw my expression. Quaxo's emotions were leaking through the barrier that kept our personalities separate, coloring my thoughts.

"I n-n-need t-t-to get r-ready for Vic-t-t-toria. Sorr-r-r-y." I sighed. I felt even worse when I saw my only friends' expressions. They looked like I was replacing them. I realized that I probably would've felt the same way. "G-g-guys, I jus-s-s-t need s-some t-t-t-t-t-time alone. I...I'll t-t-t-talk to you b-both some o-t-t-the-r-r t-time."

Coricopat stared at me in disbelief before busting out in sudden laughter.

"You're kidding us, right?" He laughed, finishing the sentence on his own for some reason. Tantomile remained silent and solemn, staring forlornly at me. I shuffled my paws on the floor of their den and Coricopat's face went from laughing disbelief to sadness, anger, and perhaps a bit of jealousy.

"It's...j-just-t-t...Quaxo." I muttered guiltily, wishing that I had just a little more tact. They nodded curtly.

"Come, on Coricopat, he doesn't need us anymore. He's got a normal friend." Tantomile hissed. The twins walked farther into their den silently. The atmosphere in the room turned cold and hateful, I immediately felt unwanted.

I walked out of their den regretfully, staring at the passage they'd walked down. Then I felt Quaxo's hurt and my own mix into one big heap of pain and loss. My shoulders slumped, I walked away to a junkpile, not caring if I missed my meeting with Victoria.

~~~Victoria~~~

I walked towards Mistoffelees'...or Quaxo's...den, a small grin on my face. I knocked on the door to their den. A few moments later the toms' mother stepped out.

"Oh, hello, Victoria." She meowed tiredly, looking worn. "The toms aren't here, I'm afraid, but I do believe Mistoffelees went to see Coricopat and Tantomile." I nodded and thanked her, then slowly walked off to find that tomcat. Had he forgotten that he was supposed to help me study?

I walked up to the twins den, slightly nervous. They never associated with us, but I assumed that that was because they didn't want to scare the normal cats and kittens. The door was open before I had a chance to knock, and the psychics stared angrily at me.

"What do you want?" Coricopat hissed.

"We suppose you came to rub it-" Now Tantomile spoke.

"In our faces that you're his friend-"

"Now, and we're not." I stared at them, flabbergasted. Was that why they were so angry?

"I'm only taking study dates with him." I meowed quietly, blushing a deep red.

"But he's replaced us with these _study dates _you're having with him" The twins spoke in sync, spitting out every word. And it did hurt, but I understood where they were coming from. _I'd _feel replaced if that happened. Especially if I only had one friend.

"I'm sorry." I whispered. "I'll go tell him I can't have the study dates with him anymore."

"He's by the old TSE1." Coricopat said, then they both paused and stiffened as if in a trance. Which they probably were. They stood there for a few moments, then shook their heads and looked at me...not in a hostile way, like they had been, but almost in a friendly manner.

"But don't tell him that you can't have study dates with him." Tantomile contradicted her brother hastily. I wondered if their psychic connection was off; as far as I knew, they never disagreed.

"What did you see?" I asked curiously, staring at the twins, who now were in some kind of stare-and-gesture-wildly match. Maybe they were talking to each other psychically. I never found out, because after waiting for a response for quite some time and not receiving one, I walked off to find Mistoffelees.

~~~Mistoffelees~~~

_How much stupider can we get? _Quaxo muttered darkly in our mind.

_We can't. _I responded in an equally upset manner. _I lost my only friends, you lost the queen you love, and Victoria probably hates us both because we ditched her._

_What a great pep talk. I feel perfect now._

_Hmph._

_Sarcasm. Get used to it._

_Hmph._

_Whatever, Misto. _I could tell that he was annoyed with my unresponsiveness_. _I adjusted my seat on the junkpile, listening to the voice inside my head mutter darkly. I ignored Quaxo, wallowing in my own sadness.

Just then, Victoria walked up to me.


	6. Maybe

**Author's Note: Uh...*insert really eloquent note here***

**Chapter Six: Maybe**

"H-h-hey." I sighed, looking up at the white form of Victoria. I gave her a weak smile and she returned it with a bemused one.

"Hey. Care to tell me why Coricopat and Tantomile are in such a foul mood? Along with yourself?"

"W-well," I began, fiddling with a loose bed spring nearby. "Jemima b-b-broke up-p with Q-Quaxo, and I, um, t-t-t-told the t-t-t-t-twins I was mee-t-t-t-ing y-you." I looked away from the white queen, thinking of why Jemima had left my alter-ego. That reason was me. As Quaxo had said, if I were normal, this wouldn't have happened

"Jemima broke up with Quaxo? That's _awful._ I need to talk to her about her taste in tomcats." She hesitated, then seemed to decide on abandoning the subject. "On a less...controversial note, did the twins blank out and then have a stare-and-gesture-wildly match with you too?" She asked. I looked at her, surprised.

"A st-t-t-are-and-g-ges-s-s-ture-wild-d-dly match?" I repeated, grimacing when I couldn't seem to get the words out properly.

"Yeah, they were staring at each other and pointing at me, then the direction you were in. It was very weird."

"How v-v-very st-t-t-range." I said quietly, mulling things over.

I knew I had I gigantic crush on Victoria.

I knew that Quaxo had one on her as well, considering the way he'd complemented her in his thoughts.

And I knew that Victoria's relationship with Plato was more one-sided than anything else, and that she liked me. Hopefully as more than a friend.

But where did the twins fit into all of this?

_I do NOT like her! _Quaxo sniffled. He wasn't as depressed as before, but he was still upset.

_You do too. _

_But what's not to like? _He said cheekily. I could just imagine his smirking face.

_You're so vulgar. It's disgusting. _I mentally shuddered.

_I was talking about her personality, you idiot. _Quaxo's tongue was still sharper than usual after the rough breakup he'd gone through.

_Look who's talking, imbecile._

_As if. _I wished I could roll my eyes at him, but one can't really roll their eyes at oneself, now can they?

"Uh, Mistoffelees, are you awake?" Victoria said loudly. I opened my eyes – I hadn't even realized they'd been closed – and looked up at her.

"Yeah, I'm up-p-p. I w-w-was just t-t-t-t-thinking." I brushed her off as best I could without being rude.

"About?" She inquired persistently, refusing to let the matter drop.

"Q-Quaxo." I sighed, hoping she would stop questioning me the and there. Thankfully, my prayers were answered.

"So, are you going to help me with my schoolwork?" She changed the subject once again.

"Yeah. L-let's go t-t-to m-m-my den." I stood up and walked reluctantly towards my home. Victoria followed. I grinned when I hesitantly took her paw and she held it.

~~In The Den~~

Victoria looked around our den, obviously surprised when she noticed that the pictures of Jemima were gone from the walls of Quaxo's side of the room.

"It looks so different in here, without the pictures of her." Victoria said.

"Y-y-yeah. We b-b-both d-d-d-didn't want-t-t-t-t any r-reminders of la-s-s-s-s-s-t night-t-t-t-t, so Quaxo t-t-took them-m-m-m d-d-down." I replied quietly, gently fingering the lighter squares on the wall where the photos had once hung. Quaxo and Jemima had been a couple so long, I just couldn't really believe that the dark queen had left him over the small matter of...me. I wasn't overbearing or _too_ jealous, what had gone wrong?

I sighed and decided to focus on the present. There was no use whatsoever in wallowing in self-loathing.

"S-s-so, d-d-d-do you want to start y-y-y-your home-w-w-w-w-work n-n-now?" I asked quietly, sitting on my mat and absentmindedly straightened the bedsheets. Victoria nodded and turned to get her books, only they weren't there.

_Oh, wow. She's more absentminded than...her... And all she ever did was stare at the moon._ Quaxo sighed wistfully. _She was so pretty when she did that. And it was so cute whenever I startled her by walking up on her. She never noticed anything when she was like that._

_Maybe all the moon-staring damaged her brain? _I suggested.

_Maybe...Hey! Don't talk about her like that! _He hissed and stopped talking to me, indignant.

"I think I forgot my books." Victoria said suddenly. I looked around for a few moments and concluded that she was correct.

"That-t-t-t s-seems to b-b-b-be t-t-t-t-the c-c-case." I replied. "Per-h-h-h-haps you c-c-c-could g-g-go back home to get-t-t-t t-t-t-t-them?" I stood up to guide her out, quietly hoping she wouldn't go off to get her books.

"Well, it _would_ be kinda awkward, coming home just to get my books. Would it be all right if I stayed?" She absentmindedly brushed her long, snow-white headfur out of her face and I blushed when I realized how closely I was watching her every movement.

"Of-f c-course!" I grinned automatically, then hastily tried to correct my expression. Of course, I just ended up looking absolutely ridiculous. She laughed quietly.

"I'm glad you're happy about that." She smiled and sat down beside me.

I so desperately wanted to put my arms around her, to hold her, to tell her I how I felt. Everything was so new; I was used to carefully calculating my every decision, and whenever I was around her I just...leaped headfirst into whatever it was that I wanted to do. It was so strange, this feeling.

I knew that I could never be her tom, seeing as Plato had already taken her.

Victoria looked up at me after a few moments of silence.

"You know," She said quietly, "No one – besides the twins – really knows who the real you is. You're so secretive."

"I'm n-not s-s-s-s-s-secretive" I meowed slowly, rearranging myself so that I was facing her. "It's j-j-just that-t-t-t-t-t-t no c-c-c-c-cat has ever r-really t-t-t-taken t-t-t-the time to know the 'r-r-real me'. C-Coricopat, T-T-T-Tantomile, and I were just c-c-clumped t-t-together as the mis-f-f-f-i-t-ts, t-the out-t-t-t-casts." She stared at me for a few moments before hugging me, quickly. I felt a sudden surge of emotions; shock, happiness, and so many other emotions I'd never felt before.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't know that you felt like that."

"W-w-well, you'd-d-d b-be resentful i-i-if you were ig-n-nored every s-s-single d-day of your l-life." I stuttered, a little hurt. Did none of the cats even _see _me anymore? Was I just Quaxo's shadow?

"And, with the way the other cats treat you, I thought that you didn't want anyone to get to know you." She looked at me, holding a pillow on her knees. I smiled thinly.

"I s-s-suppose you h-h-have a point. I...I'm...a l-l-little s-scared of the o-t-t-t-t-her toms." I admitted, just then realizing it myself. Lifelong ridicule and attacks had left me much, much more than a little scared of the other toms. They absolutely terrified me.

_Why? It's not like they don't know me. _

_You've never done anything to stop them from tormenting me._

_I have to stopped their pranks!_

_Remember the time they dumped glitter glue on me, or the rotten fish incident? I can keep going on and on._

_I'm sorry, Misto. I guess I cared too much about my perfect reputation to really notice what they were doing to you. I blocked it out._

_You can think that again, although it might hurt your brain to use that many words, especially when they aren't satisfying your ego._

_See if I ever apologize to you again, Magical Mr. Holier-than-thou Mistoffelees. _He huffed angrily and started sulking. I immediately felt bad for thinking those things.

"You're scared of the other toms?" Victoria asked, staring at me as if I'd started speaking another language.

"Y-y-yes?" I said reluctantly, saying it like a question. I looked away, wishing I could take back my words.

"Oh, you poor thing." She said suddenly, hugging me. I gently hugged her back, and the scent of her blew me away. I'd never been this close to a queen before.

_You hugged mom._

_Go away. I am enjoying this very memorable moment._

_Let me get my camera. This is a Kodak moment. You might never hug a queen again._

…_._

I stopped thinking when, for one brief moment, Victoria's lips brushed my cheek. My head span. She looked at me, smiling.

"I'll see you _both_ Monday." She said, then she walked out of my den, humming a little tune.

_Whoa. That was...whoa. _Quaxo said quietly, as pleasantly surprised as I was.

_Yes, I think 'whoa' describes that moment exactly._

_You think...maybe she likes me too?_

_Maybe._


	7. She can't choose

**Author's Note: I've actually completed a chapter for two stories (one is a collaboration with MeadowRose. Check for it in Kingdom Keepers/ Cats crossovers. She's brilliant.) while my internet was out, and this is making me feel good. Maybe I'll start to update more frequently. Probably not. Whatever.**

**Dear Reviewers, thank you for your patience with my stories, I know a lot of you have read every story I've ever published, and always given me support and advice. I know that I lose readers every time I don't update for over a month, and I thank you again for sticking with me.**

**Onwards? Yes!**

**Chapter Seven: **

~Quaxo~

I stretched luxuriously, bending my spine into a curve, then effortlessly rolled into a somersault, jumping into an upright position.

_Why couldn't you have simply stood?_

_Because this is more fun._

_Of course. Just like you skipping class today, this is more fun._

I walked out of the den and over to the TSE1. I hopped onto the truck, purring when I felt the comforting warmth of the hood. I closed my eyes, thinking of how nice it would be if I had company. Jemima – no, I wouldn't think of her.

_Still hurts, huh?_

_No, really? I mean, just because she broke up with me only a few days ago doesn't mean I should still miss her._

_Only trying to help, Quaxo. There's no need to murder me for it._

_Sorry, Misto. Cat, it feels like I'm saying that a lot lately._

_That's because I deserve to be apologized to._

_Whatever. _I rolled my eyes without opening them. I was too comfortable to bother with it. I flipped over, my purring growing louder. Something gently rubbed my stomach.

"I thought you'd be at school today." I instantly recognized the voice as Victoria's and opened my eyes lazily. The white queen was sitting on the hood beside me, her paw on my chest, messing with the fluffy white fur there.

"Ah, no. School isn't really my thing." I laughed, smirking slightly. "Why don't you lie down on this?" I patted the hood of the TSE. "It's really comfortable."

"All right." She smiled and laid down on her stomach next to me, her head in her arms.

"So how are you, Victoria?" I asked, trying to make light conversation. She purred slightly.

"Call me Rory. And I'm fine, Quaxo." A shiver ran down my spine when she said my name, despite the warmth of the car. I'd never felt that way before, not even with Jemima. And I thought I knew what love was.

_She's amazing, isn't she? _Mistoffelees sighed dreamily. I could imagine his expression; his glazed-over eyes and huge lopsided grin. But I did agree with him fully.

_I have a lopsided grin?_

_Yep._

"All right, Rory." I carefully kept my cool. Queens love a cool tom, at least that's what I've learned from watching Tugger get the queens hot and bothered.

"You're right. This is very comfortable." Victoria purred louder, extending her claws and kneading them on the hood. I smiled.

"I have my flashes of brilliance." She laughed quietly. I rolled over onto my stomach, like she was, and ever so cautiously wrapped my arm around her waist. She stiffened, causing me to flinch, then relaxed slightly.

"I shouldn't have kissed you." My head drooped at the words.

"Technically, you kissed Mistoffelees, not me." I meowed softly, even though I imagined I could feel the warmth of her lips on my cheek. But, as I said, she'd never kissed _me_.

"What I'm saying, Quaxo, is that I'm still with Plato. And I don't have the heart to break his." She looked at me, her expression soft and gentle. "I don't know what to do. Plato, well, I loved him. But now, I'm not so sure. You two, you're everything now. Mistoffelees is so sweet and helpless, and you're so funny and wild. I just can't break Plato's heart yet."

"I understand." I nodded vehemently, holding on with all my might to the fact that she'd said "yet". "But you could still be...close to us, right?" She grinned.  
"Yes, of course." As if to signify that, she snuggled closer to me on the TSE, but my arm stayed firmly underneath my chin.

_We're lucky Plato's on patrol. And remind me to tell her I'm not helpless. I am a genius._

_You, my friend, are a nerd. A helpless nerd. But we are pretty lucky. _

"I have to go." I meowed, even though I didn't. Always leave them wanting more.

"Oh. All right." I noticed that Victoria's eyes followed me until I turned the corner. She definitely wanted more, just like I'd planned.

_Vulgar, perverted little...Gah!_

_Sparkly, feminine little spaz. _I retorted, thinking of the time my alter-ego had started doing cartwheel after cartwheel after cartwheel...you get the point.

_Okay, we're both a little hyperactive occasionally. Happy now?_

_Extremely. Your cartwheels rival Rumpleteazer's._

_Oh, shut it. It wasn't my fault you and Tugger found that case of the humans' soda what-have-you._

_Make me. And it's called soda pop, not soda what-have-you._

_Fine. _Mistoffelees took over, much to my annoyance.

~~~Mistoffelees~~~

I grinned smugly, wondering absentmindedly if my expression truly was lopsided, as Quaxo had said. Just another thing wrong with me, I suppose. I started walking to Tantomile and Coricopat's den, then stopped suddenly, my grin fading; how was I supposed to apologize to them?

_Grovel. On your knees. _

_You know, I'm almost to the point of doing that very thing._ I sighed heavily, and turned around. What to do now? I fidgeted for a while before an idea struck me. I could always practice my magic, and seeing as I hadn't done so in a while, I might as well. Perhaps it would keep my mind off thoughts of the twins.

_Presto. _Quaxo sniggered quietly.

_You know that's my focus word. _A focus word was a word inexperienced magicians used to, well, focus their powers. Hence the name.

_Blah. Why couldn't it have been something _cool, _like Alakazam or something?_

_Because that's too long._

_Because you're too lazy to say it._

_No, because if I took that long, then everyone would know I was going to use magic. _I retorted. Quaxo was just so...so... _stupid_ sometimes!

_That has no point, except in combat. And you never fight with anyone. Even if they deserve it. _That remark made me stop dead. He had a point.

_Touche. But I still refuse to change my focus word._

_You're as stubborn as a boulder._

_And you've got the intelligence of one. _

I gently let the magic flow out of my paws, barely whispering "presto" as the sparks grew stronger. The relief was indescribably wonderful. I felt as if someone had just lifted a...Bustopher...off my shoulders. I sighed happily, purring softly. I should've known a lot of the stress I was feeling was simply magic buildup.

In my distraction, the sparks had grown considerably and a few had flown off my paws, threatening to light the Junkyard on fire.

I shouted in surprise and set to stamping out the small flames that were flickering, feeding off bits of paper.

_You scream like a queen._

_And our voices are nearly identical. If I scream like a queen, then you would too. _With a roll of my eyes meant for Quaxo, I stamped out the last of the flames.

"He does that all the time!" A voice hissed, breaking into a kittenish giggle at the last word. I immediately recognized the voice as Etcetera's.

"Rolling his eyes at no one!" I figured the second voice was probably Electra's. The two were nearly inseparable. I rolled my eyes at their antics. The odd kitten or two occasionally following me was nothing new. It was as if they expected fireworks from me.

"There he goes again! I wish he'd do some more magic." Etcetera whispered.

I walked closer to their voices, saying as if to myself, "I w-wish queen-k-kits wouldn't f-f-f-follow me everywhere I g-g-go. I've half a mind t-t-t-t-to zap t-them."

I smiled as two figures ran off to another area of the Junkyard, in all probability going to Tugger for comfort.


	8. The bar

**Well, Quaxo is back and ruder than ever before!  
I in NO WAY endorse underage drinking. Quaxo is a bad kid. Underage drinking is bad.**

**Chapter Eight: The bar  
**

I turned about, feeling immediately guilty. I shouldn't have scared them off for the sake of privacy. It was horribly rude.

_Hello, my name is Mr. Perfect! What's yours? _Quaxo muttered.

_Oh, be quiet. At least I have morals. _I replied, trying to come across as bored and not highly annoyed. After a moment of deliberation, I knelt down and placed my paws on the dirt beneath me.

_Oh great. You're going to exhaust us both._

_Well, you do want to release some tension, don't you? _Ignoring him, I watched as the glow of my magic rippled down my shoulders to my arms, and finally into the earth. It glowed faintly for a moment before fading away.

"Whew." I said out-loud, wiping a bit of sweat off my brow. I'd just performed something called a "drain".

Basically, you release all the magic in your body for a time because your emotions are a bit frenzied. A crush'll do that to you, I suppose.

I stood up, wobbling slightly, and walked over to a hollowed-out bureau. Climbing inside, I closed my eyes and drifted off, already feeling much better.

~~~Quaxo~~~

_Bast, Misto. The sun's going down. _All my time was gone.

_It's not like you had plans. And you'd better head home before we worry mom or stay out past curfew._

_Yeah, I don't think so. I can make plans. _I hopped out of the bureau Mistoffelees had dosed off in and wandered towards Tumblebrutus, who was lounging on a television screen.

"Hey, Quaxo." He said, making his paw into a fist and bumping it against mine.

"What's up?" I replied, sitting down next to him.

"Well, I heard that some whiny-tailed queen broke up with you because your pollicle of a brother decided to show up."

"Yeah. He was being a total queen." I agreed, nodding. "_Oh, please forgive me, Quaxo!" _

"The fell? He wanted you to forgive him?" Tumblebrutus rolled his eyes.

"Exactly. He just lost me my queen, for Everlasting's sake!" I flicked my tail in annoyance at Mistoffelees.

_Curfew? Remember? _Mistoffelees piped up.

_I don't care. _I replied, more annoyed than earlier.

_And I almost thought you'd changed._

_Me? Give up my evil ways? I think not. _

"You know what you need?" Tumblebrutus said suddenly, leaning forward.

"What's that?" I asked.

"A night out."

~OoO~

Tumblebrutus had taken me to one of the more relaxed clubs. They didn't really care what age you were, so long as you could pay.

"Age?" The bouncer asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

"I've got cash" I said, stepping past him and slipping a wad of the green paper into his paw. I'd gotten the money from my last birthday.

"I'm with him." Tumblebrutus followed me into the club, which smelled strongly of catnip and cheap perfume. We walked over to a dimly lit bar table and sat on the stools beside it.  
"Two beers" I said, looking up at the bartender. He was a brown tabby with a white patch over his ear.  
"Aren't you a little young to be drinking?" He asked the two of us, raising an eyebrow.  
"We're short for our age." Tumblebrutus said coolly. With a noncommittal grunt, the bartender handed us two bottles of alcohol.

"Cheers." Tumblebrutus raised his bottle. I did the same, gently clinking them together.

The beer burned slightly as it made its way down my throat.

_Quaxo! Not again! I don't want to have to pour us into bed._

_Naw, Tumblebrutus can do that. _I chuckled to myself and ordered another two drinks.

_Drowning your sorrows isn't the way to go about things._

_Just shuttup. _I chugged the remainder of my second beer and started on the third one.

_Even your thoughts are slurred!_

_Shuttup. Your voice is weird._

_Oh, Everlasting. That's it._

Mistoffelees~~~

I pushed away the beer bottles Quaxo had had emptied away from my body.

"Mistoffelees?" Tumblebrutus looked curiously down at me.  
"Y-yes. It-t-t-'s me. We n-n-need t-to get home." I stood, vaguely surprised that I wasn't completely sloshed as well, and stood the brown and white tom up.  
"Here." I murmured to the bartender. "K-keep the c-change." I handed him the remainder of Quaxo's money, not wanting to stay a moment longer.

I wrapped Tumblebrutus' arm around my shoulder and slowly made my way back out of the bar and into the Junkyard, breathing in the much cleaner air of outdoors.

I staggered slightly under the weight of the drunken tom. I had never been one for labor, nor was I heavily built.

"Y-you aren't g-g-going t-to be much help, n-now are y-y-you?" I muttered. Tumblebrutus mumbled incoherently and waved his paw about.

~~OoO~~~

As I neared Tumblebrutus' house, worry began to gnaw at me. What would I say to Jellylorum?  
_"Oh, hi Jellylorum! Your son took Quaxo to the bar and they both got roaring drunk! You take care of him!" _I think not.

Instead, I put the drunk tom on the ground outside his home and knocked rapidly on his door, then ran off back towards my own den. I stumbled slightly, and a giggle escaped me.

_Bast. Now the beer's getting to me, too._

_Well, you...you deserve it...because of ...because of your face! _Quaxo slurred drunkenly.

_You are making even less sense than usual. _I replied, climbing the step to our door and walking inside - straight into my mother.  
"Mistoffelees! Where where you?" She glared down at me.  
"Q-Quaxo got-t-t him-s-self drunk with T-t-t-Tumblebrutus." I murmured.

"Oh, dear." Mom ever-so-gently led me into my room, grimacing when I hiccuped loudly, and tucked me into bed. Something she hadn't done since I was very small.

"Good night, Mistoffelees." Mom said with a smile.  
"Night." I said, a slight slur distorting my words. I closed my eyes and drifted off.


	9. Hangovers and hunting

**Author's Note: I'm sooo sorry I haven't been updating! Crazy kinda got in the way, but now that it's finished, I have time to write this 'un. Perhaps even start another. :)**

**Chapter Nine: Hangovers and Hunting**

**~~Quaxo~~**

"Blah." I rolled lethargically out of bed, grimacing at the taste in my mouth. But the strong liquid had been worth it all.

_You'd think you'd learn, Quaxo. _ Mistoffelees snorted. I could imagine his expression – one eyebrow raised and that not-quite-pitying-not-quite-disgusted look in his eyes.

_...you'd think you'd have the sense to stop me. _ I retorted somewhat halfheartedly; my stomach was churning. I stood, nearly overbalanced, and ran past my waiting mother to outside. And in the nick of time; what alcohol hadn't been digested came up and I reached for the nearest thing to...well, to puke into.

Mom held the few long strands of my mostly close-cropped headfur back while I was sick into an old chamber pot. _So_ classy.

"Oh, Quaxo..." Mom sighed when I was done. I flinched involuntarily at the sound of her voice. Couldn't she whisper? Cat.

"Oh – yes, Mom?" I swallowed my snarky remark when I noticed that her usually steely grey eyes were watering. I'd made her cry. My mother, the Mom-of-Steel, was crying.

"Kitten, you can't put me through this anymore. It hurts so much to see you make yourself sick with all these drinks. I love you t-too much to just stand by and watch." She sniffled and gathered me almost forcefully into her lap.  
"Love ya too, Mom." I meowed as cheerfully as a hung-over alcoholic can. There. I said it. I. Am. An. _Alcoholic. _

_Admitting you have the problem is the first step to recovery. _Mistoffelees meowed meekly.  
_I don't care. I won't recover, because I don't want to. _I thought back, looking up and squinting at the sun as Mom released me. Woo. More light.  
Mom gave me a long, hard stare before helping me up and into the den. She was plotting something.

I crawled into my bed, covering myself completely with my blankets as Mom bustled around in the kitchen.

"Nnggg." I sighed happily, my eyes barely open. Dark and quiet; just what the doctor ordered.

"Quaxo?" Mom said, making me flatten my ears back in annoyance.  
"Mom?" I grumbled, propping my head up on my arms.  
"I made something that should ease the headache." She knelt down and handed me a chipped cup full of something that smelled, as Mistoffelees would've said, 'indescribably appetizing'. I gazed curiously at the pale green liquid.  
"It's watered-down catnip tea. Now drink up, you'll feel better."  
"...It won't turn me into a druggie?" I asked, cocking an eyebrow. I didn't need another addiction.  
"It's nowhere near a high enough dose." Mom said. "Now drink."  
"mm..." I started purring softly as I lapped up the tea. It eased the ache in my temples and made me more drowsy than before. My eyelids fluttered and threatened to close.  
_Odd. A high dose of catnip is a stimulant. I wonder why this is a depressant.  
Shh. I'm not depressed. _I hushed my brother, letting my thoughts fuzz over.  
"Quaxo."  
"What?" I sighed and forced myself awake.  
"You're not going to see that Tumblebrutus again, if I can help it."  
"Oh, darn." I sighed, not really hearing what Mom said. "Night."  
I could've sworn I heard her chuckle when I said that.

~~OoO~~

Once again, I rolled tiredly out of bed, blinking.

…_.drunks sleep entirely too much. _Mistoffelees grouched. _Go do something. Being conscious when you're in a drunken stupor is not something I wish to do again._

_Oh, shove it. _I rose and stretched, flicking my tail around wildly to stretch those muscles as well. When that was done, I strolled casually past the main part of the den and into the 'kitchen' area. I looked in a small icebox we kept our food in. Nothing, not even half a mouse.  
"Mom, we have no food!" I shouted.

"Then go hunt!" She replied from her sleeping area, instead of getting up like she usually did. Mom hated shouting. At the time, neither Mistoffelees nor I thought anything of it.  
"Hmph..." I muttered, walking outside and glancing around the clearing for a hunting partner.

_May I suggest that little voice in your head? You know, the one with magical powers?_

_Quit trying to mimic me. It's just sad. _I sighed and walked out of the junkyard – alone. I figured it would be the best way to shut up my brother.

~~OoO~~

I dropped to all fours and slunk through the long grass of my favorite hunting spot, sniffing the air. Mice and rats were here, yes, but I wanted some bigger, faster game. Mistoffelees could kill it from a distance. But still not a whiff of rabbit, the animal I was hunting.

Wait. I paused, lifting my nose into the air once again. There was a sudden strong scent of rabbit. I flattened myself against the dirt and peered through the grass. A plump cottontail took a cautious step forward, its ears pricked up.

_I found it, you kill it. _I thought, forcing Mistoffelees out.

~~~Mistoffelees~~~

I sighed and rubbed my paws together, creating a sparking ball of static electricity. With a flick of my wrist, I quickly killed the rabbit. It smelled wonderful, like the sweetgrass and clover it had lived off of. I ate half of it before the warmth in its body dissipated, enjoying the taste with a small smile. Rabbit was a rare luxury, even for me. I picked the other half of the small rodent up and stood, walking back towards home.

_Is that for me, O amazing Sparkler?_

_No. It's for Mom. Maybe she's hungry._

_Oh. All right. Leave me to starve.  
We have the same stomach, idiot. And you got to eat the last time. _I rolled my eyes with a snort and walked through the junkyard gate, taking the shortcut to my den.

I walked inside and called out. "M-mom? It-t-t-'s me."

"I'm in my room, Mistoffelees." Mom shouted back. Odd. I raised my eyebrows suspiciously and slowly walked into her room.

It was dimly lit; like me, she strongly disliked harsh light. The walls and ceiling were draped with dark cloth scraps, giving it a luxurious, padded feel. Mom was at her nightstand – made of some Christmas lights, a broken mirror, and two tin cans – her head was resting on it with her long, dark headfur flowing around her.  
"I brought-t-t-t you s-some r-r-rabbit-t." I meowed quietly. She looked up at me and stood.  
"Thank you, kitten." Mom took the food and set it on her nightstand so she could embrace me. I felt my shoulder slowly dampen. Mom was crying. I felt horrible; she was really a very strong queen who didn't cry often. She had to be, to stick with my father long enough to have kittens.  
"Mom," I said softly, wrapping my skinny arms around her frame. "Quaxo l-l-loves you, he really d-does. He just-t-t... it's not h-h-his f-fault."  
"I...I know that, Mistoffelees. I just wish I knew he'd turn out all right." My mother sniffled loudly and looked at me.  
"He will." I lied through my teeth, then. "H-he's not an alcoholic-c."  
"I'm not so sure about that, kitten." Mom sighed. "I'm signing him up for Alcoholics Anonymous."


	10. AA

**A/N: Heehee. That's all I have to say. **

**M-M-Mr. Mistoffelees; Oh, I know that. But they're cats – I figured that even Misto wouldn't know or care what was a rodent and what wasn't. Thank you for noticing, though! :D No one else did...**

**I'd also like to thank all the people who alerted/faved this story. But I would be ever so much more grateful if you reviewed!**

**Chapter Ten: A.A.**

~~~Mistoffelees~~~

"W-what?" I spluttered, shocked. There was no way mom would sign Quaxo up for an alcoholic's program. She hated those kinds of things. She called them "idiotic cash cows made up by moneygrubbing quacks". I guess she was just desperate – and I'd heard somewhere that AA was free, not like a therapy session.

_Save me! Oh, Everlasting Cat, don't make me go! No! _Quaxo moaned, as if someone were shoving splinters into his clawtips.

_You're stuck with it. I don't think I'll be able to persuade her._

_Oh, yeah. Cause _you're _the Everlasting Cat. Pfft. _Quaxo muttered sarcastically. I ignored him and listened to mom talking.

"...He really needs help, Mistoffelees. You of all people would know this. You hear his every thought." She meowed, obviously not noticing my previous lack of concentration.  
"All...all r-r-right." I stuttered resignedly, running a paw through my headfur and biting my lip. Mom sighed.  
"In fact, the first meeting is in just ten minutes. Can you make him get ready?"  
"Y-yeah." I said, knowing it would be by no means an easy task. I nodded at Mom and walked into my room, shutting the door behind me.

I sat down on my bed and closed my eyes.

_Come on, Quaxo. You have to go. _I pleaded with him, hoping he wouldn't make this harder than it could be.

_No! You'll never take me alive! Never! _He shouted, causing me to flinch. Quaxo had an exceptionally loud voice, as I've probably said before. Many times.

_Don't you think that you're perhaps overreacting? Just a little, teensy, bit?_

_I am not. You're being cruel. You hate me._

_Well, my hatred for you is beside the point. You need to go; you're being kittenish. _I forced him into control with a grunt; it was much harder to do when he didn't want to come out. I winced when he pulled his final defense, giving me a sudden, stabbing pain in my head. But I triumphed, as I normally did, and the pain faded as Quaxo took over.

~~~Quaxo~~~

I sighed heavily and stood. I was going to therapy! Yaaaay. I grumbled darkly as I left my room and walked up to Mom.  
"Where to?" I asked, my voice bland and dismal-sounding.  
"It's not that far. I'll walk you until you learn the way." Mom replied cheerily, giving me her signature I'm-in-a-good-mood-don't-you-push-it face. I rolled my eyes and nodded, wondering why I was always the one who got glared at.

"Let's go already." I grouched, shuffling my feet after her as she strolled out. I wasn't psychotic or anything, therefore I. Did. Not. Need. Therapy. End of discussion, right? Apparently _not_. Mom ambled off around the tire and neared a large refrigerator. A low murmur of voices came from inside and a sign was posted on the door. It read: "A.A. meeting tonight at 6 pm. Members and Counselors only."

Mom nodded at me and opened the door. The voices hushed and a sandy tom around his twenties stood to greet me and Mom.  
"I'm counselor Beck. You must be Quaxo, correct?" He extended his paw towards me with a grin. I shook it grumpily and he nodded knowingly.

"Don't need counseling, eh? See it all the time. Go sit and greet the other members while I talk to your mother, would you?" Beck kept grinning as he waved me over to a circle of chairs. All but two were filled with toms and queens. Most were older and less groomed than I was.

I tried to smile, but ended up wincing halfheartedly at them and took the smaller chair that obviously wasn't my counselor's.

A gray and brown scraggly tom grinned toothily at me. "Been having a few too many nights out with your pals, mm?"

"Haven't we all?" I replied with a wink. I was back in my game; I was born to annoy people.

"Ooh, we've got a little hothead." A deep black queen with green eyes guffawed loudly. Ew. No one _guffaws _anymore. "You from around here?"

"Yeah. I live maybe five minutes away." I answered. Beck walked in soon after I'd replied and quieted the group of cats with a wave of his paw. He sat in his chair and looked at us all, smiling. I wanted to slap that idiotic grin off his face. Let's see how much he'd smile if _he'd_ secretly nursed a minor addiction since he was fifteen.

"Well," Beck said. "Let's all introduce ourselves to the newest member!" He nodded at the cats.

"Maximilian. Don't laugh." A brown tabby not much older than Beck said. I didn't think any of them were in the Jellicle tribe, because their names were just too ordinary.

_I've never seen them around. _Mistoffelees piped up.

_Oh, come on! I can't even get rid of you when I'm in therapy, for cat's sake! _In replying, I'd missed several names, including the Chocking Squirrel who kept braying like a donkey. I repeat; _ew._

"And this is the newest member of our little family!" Beck gestured towards me, and I recognized the opportunity to get my revenge on the moron.

"I am Bob! Bow before me or face my wrath!" I threw my arms in the air dramatically before Beck glared daggers at me. I shrank in my seat, ignoring Chocking Squirrel's loud braying. "Fine. I'm Quaxo, nice to meet you. Can I leave?"

"Quaxo, it seems as though I'm only going to get a sarcastic extravert, or a sulking introvert. Why is this?"

_Because I'm a messed-up kid missing his booze half the time and arguing with his other personality all the rest. _I almost said, but I bit it back and meowed "I dunno." instead. I shrugged noncommittally when Beck sighed.

"Well, let's carry on. Did everyone bring their journals?" The rest of the group nodded.  
"Max, would you care to share your latest entry with me?" Beck asked. He was grinning again. If Mom were here, she'd insist that his face would freeze that way.

"Sure." Max nodded brightly and opened the green journal in his lap. He read a little more slowly than I did, and he went at an ant's pace compared to Mistoffelees. "Today I walked past a liquor shop and was only a little tempted to go inside. I felt really good, especially when I walked right past. Then I went home and was extra nice to my poor human, who must've missed feeding me." The group clapped politely and I joined in, rolling my eyes only slightly.

"And Elise?" Beck turned to Chocking Squirrel. So her name was Elise. The black queen began reading. I tuned her out and tried to will myself to sleep. It didn't work, but I must have spaced out for longer than I thought, because suddenly the group was packing up their things and Beck was telling everyone to try grape juice or some fruit if we got any sudden need for alcohol. (And yes, he was _still _grinning)

I walked outside, and Mom was waiting for me. She put her paw on my shoulder and we walked home.


	11. Strawberries

**I feel like I've been neglecting Victoria. So here is some relationship building!**

**Chapter Eleven: Strawberries**

I walked inside the house and made to collapse on my bed, but Mom grabbed my shoulder and whirled me around.

"Ahem." Mom said, pointing to a stack of books I hadn't noticed. "You have homework for yesterday, when Jennyanydots said you skipped class, and for today. When you were so hung over you could barely think."

I rolled my eyes."Sometimes I wish Jennyanydots wasn't one of your best friends." Mom simply picked up the books and dropped them into my arms. I grunted; there must've been at least three pounds worth of books in there.

_That's what you get for skipping. I'm not going to do it all._

_Naw, you can just do most of it. I'll do one problem._

_Lazy drunk._

_Broken record._

_Well, look who's talking. You just go through the same cycle; drink, hangover, flirt, drink, hangover-_

_Okay. I get it, I get it. _

I sighed and plopped myself on the floor, my white-tipped tail flicking about with annoyance. I really hated homework. I nibbled on the eraser of my pencil and tapped it against my forehead; math is not my forte.

_Twenty-four._ Mistoffelees said randomly. He seemed rather alert though, so I decided to pay him a little mind.

_What? _

_The answer to the problem is twenty-four._

_Well, it seems you just can't keep your paws off the math homework, now can you? _I asked smugly, writing down the answer and moving on to the next problem.

_You're just so...slow. I can't take it. 3/4 is the answer to that one._

_Well, thanks. Why don't you just do it then?_

_Fine, you little..._

I grinned triumphantly as Mistoffelees took over.

~~~Mistoffelees~~~

I shook my head slightly and bent down over the schoolwork, concentrating. My mind went blank, excepting for solving math problems and answering questions. Before I knew it, I was done. Mom smiled and looked up from the book she was reading.

"You hungry?" She asked.

"No, thanks." I replied, packing up my books and stretching. I tended not to eat much; I either wasn't hungry or had forgotten.

"Alright, then I'll be going to bed. It's been a long day." Mom said. She stood and walked towards her bedroom. "Goodnight."  
"Night, Mom."

"I love you both."

"We love you too, Mom." I replied as she closed the door. I now had the whole den to myself. Well, to me and Quaxo.  
_Can't forget me. I'm the life of this party.  
Party? No, I'm going to dance a bit, and maybe read some._

_Oh my. You really are a rule breaker. Dancing inside! What will Mom think?_

_Oh, quiet, you. _

I sighed and began the necessary stretches that would allow me to dance without cramping. But when I rose, I felt a strange itching in the back of my throat. I thought that perhaps I was just thirsty, and lapped some water from a basin we keep full in the house. Unfortunately, the itch persisted, and I slowly came to the realization that I was developing a craving for something I'd only tasted in my mingled dreams with Quaxo. _Alcohol._

_Quaxo, What did you counselor say to do if you got cravings? _I asked frantically. I would not go anywhere near that foul liquid. Not even if I forced Quaxo through withdrawal.

_Uhm. Let me think...er...he said grape juice or something fruity, I think._ He seemed a little surprised with my urgency, and responded seriously for once.

With that in mind, I left the den in search of fruit. Which, may I add, is not very appetizing.

~~Victoria~~

I walked up to Plato's den and knocked on the door. I couldn't bear to string the poor tom along anymore. The door swung open and Plato stood there, smiling in an... an almost _forlorn_ way. What did he know?

"Hey Victoria." He meowed. I smiled sadly up at him.

"H-hey. There's something I need to tell you." He gently put his finger on my lips.  
"I know. You like Mistoffelees and or Quaxo." The russet tom sighed and allowed me to speak again.  
"I'm so sorry. I just can't bear to keep stringing you along, and-" I said in a rush, halting for breath. He jumped in when I paused.  
"It's all right. I'm not going to say it doesn't hurt, but I'm not going to keep you here if you prefer a sparkly magician with duel personalities. Remember, if he hurts you, I'll still be here." I nearly broke into tears – Plato and Mistoffelees – Quaxo was a completely different type of wonderful – were great toms. I deserved none of them.

"T-thanks." I hugged him quickly, then, unable to bear the guilt of seeing the look on his face, ran out into the night.

Right into Mistoffelees.

~~Mistoffelees~~

Victoria came running into me, nearly in tears. I stood there nervously for a moment, unsure what to do, before she spoke.

"Are you all right? You look like you've seen a ghost!" She said. I realized that I probably looked quite insane, with my somewhat frazzled and desperate expression and my running around the Junkyard at night.

"I...l-look at-t-t yourself!" I hoped to change the subject, but to no avail. Victoria continued to press the

matter.  
"I know about me, but you..you look awful!" I blushed faintly at the way she fretted over me, but the growing itch in my throat required I found some way to satisfy it – and soon.  
"Well, Quaxo, h-h-he has a b-bit of-f a drinking p-problem. And-d I believe it's-s-s affecting-g me some. D-do you have _any _fruit?" I spilled every secret in a few sentences. Just to relive an itch. What a weak creature I was. Surprisingly, Victoria wrapped her arms around me.  
"Of course. I know it's weird, but I just love strawberries. I grow some behind my den. Come on."


	12. It could've been you

**A/N Well, hey there readers! The chapter is called what it is because, although most of it is spent with Victoria, the conversation at the end is far more important to the plot. So.  
Please don't forget to review! You know how much I love reviews, especially from the people who put me on author alert. Please! Do it for Misto! Or for Quaxo! Or, heck, do it for their mother!**

**Chapter Twelve: It could've been you**

I smiled and followed Victoria as she led me around to the back of her den. There, small, three-leaved plants with petite white flowers and roundish red things covered the ground.

"Those are the strawberries. Now...I-I have to go inside. I'll be just a moment," Victoria meowed quickly, almost running inside.

I blinked and looked curiously at the strawberry plants, tilting my head to the side and kneeling to get a closer look.

_Do I eat the flowers, those red things, or the leaves?_ I thought, cocking an eyebrow bemusedly and shaking my head at the oddities of Victoria.

_How should I know? You're the smart one, and I've never eaten fruit._

I sighed exasperatedly and walked over to Victoria's house, opening the door. It was black as pitch when I stepped inside, although it only took a moment for my eyes to adjust, revealing a lavishly furnished den, colored varying shades of white and pink. Victoria was seated in a fluffy magenta armchair, curled up in a ball.

"Mistoffelees?" Victoria looked up frantically, wiping her nose.

"Are y-you c-c-crying?" I stuttered, moving towards her.

"No..." she sniffled again and wiped fat tears from her cheeks, revealing her lie.

"You a-r-r-re," I said, wrapping my arm around her white shoulders and looking down at her with mingled concern and confusion, "Why?"

"I..." She buried her face in my shoulder, "I feel like I broke Plato's heart!"

"W-w-what did you do?" I asked, rubbing her back in what I hoped was a comforting gesture.

"I dumped him...well, he dumped me...actually, we sorta dumped each other. But it was my fault...I don't deserve him," she sniffled and wiped her nose on the back of her paw.

"Oh," I murmured, scratching the back of my head. I didn't know what to say next, therefore I simply sat there and rubbed her shoulders while gulping ridiculously in a vain attempt to alleviate the nearly unbearable itch in my throat.

"Thanks. Did you get the strawberries?" Victoria glanced up at me through red, puffy eyes. I flushed and shook my head.  
"I-I didn't-t-t know which p-part to eat..." I shrugged helplessly as she gently whacked the top of my head and gave me a tremulous, watery smile.

"And you call yourself clever. Come on," she sighed heavily and shook her snowy-white head as she stood and led me back to the patch of plants.

I sat down on the edge of the strawberry plants and watched her graceful movements carefully, attempting to learn how to eat the strange fruits.  
"Watch, you silly thing," Victoria chuckled weakly and deftly plucked a swollen red growth off the plant that I assumed was the fruit. My thoughts were confirmed when she popped it into her mouth and sighed happily.

"It's good," she said, smiling and grabbing another strawberry, her sadness seeming to lessen, "Try it." Victoria held it out and put it in my mouth. I began to chew curiously, and nearly choked on the sickly sweet taste – my personal preference leaned toward more normal foods, like mice. Although, it satisfied the itch in my throat, so who was I to complain?

"You don't like it," Victoria meowed. She looked like she was about to burst back into tears.

_Great job, there. I thought you'd finally learned something when you were comforting her, but I guess I was wrong, hm?_

_Well, I'm sorry I ruined your dreams of becoming the next Rum Tum Tugger. _I then chose to ignore Quaxo and turned my attention to Victoria.  
"N-n-no," I meowed hastily, "it's just that I wasn't expecting s-such a sweet t-t-t-t-taste." She seemed to grudgingly accept the fact that most cats naturally prefer savory things – myself included. Victoria smiled wanly.

"S'all right," she meowed, shrugging her ivory-white shoulder. My eyes followed the movement, causing her to blush and shove another strawberry in my mouth.

_Wow. You really don't see queens enough, do you?_

_That's because I don't go to strip clubs on Tumblebrutus' birthday. _

_You should... _Quaxo purred in a singsong voice. I suppressed an incredulous snort and swallowed the strawberry in my mouth, still gagging slightly over the taste.

"It's an acquired taste," Victoria said, eating another three or so of the fruits.  
"I r-r-realized," I replied, wiping the juice from my mouth with a splutter. I turned my head to the side when she threw another at me, causing the red juice to smear along my cheek, "D-don't go s-s-starting a f-food f-fight," I chided half-teasingly. In retaliation to my scolding, she threw several more at me, laughing loudly.

_Now throw some back! _Quaxo thought eagerly, snickering to himself as my arm reflexively jerked towards a strawberry plant in response to his desire for starting a food fight. I sighed and dodged another fruit, settling myself behind a cardboard box.

It wasn't that I was upset to have cheered Victoria up, or that I wouldn't have allowed myself to join in a food fight, but she seemed so _awfully _happy so _awfully _soon. I was puzzled, to say the least; shouldn't she still be upset over breaking up with Plato?

"You k-k-know," I began, winding my fingers together nervously, "I...uh, have t-to g-g-go somewhere now-w. Th-th-thank you for the fruit."

She nodded, albeit a bit suspiciously, and went inside, leaving me to walk home with time to ponder her strange behaviour.

_I have no idea. I thought I understood queens, for Everlasting's sake! _Quaxo muttered, seeming – if possible – more confused than I was. I shrugged lightly and frowned.

_No one understands queens,_ I answered softly, kicking a can absently and watching it bounce across the rocky ground. We were nearly home and I was looking forward to getting to bed before Mom woke up and realized we'd gone out. She would most certainly assume the worst and suppose Quaxo was out getting sloshed again.

_Hey! _he snapped, _I resent that! _

_It's only your fault. Every time Mom lets you out of the house when it's not for school, you go and get yourself so drunk you pass out. Where else is she supposed to think you're going? _I retorted, scoffing. If he had jut shown some restraint, if he couldn't quit drinking altogether, then he wouldn't be in AA, either. But of course, the rewards are always greater than the risks to him.

_Hmph._ He grouched, saying nothing. I suspected it was because he knew everything I'd thought was only the truth, and I was only being honest, if brutally so. And he deserved all of it, for forcing the desire for drink upon me as well as himself. I'd not asked to become a drunkard, and he was making it that much harder for me to ignore his addiction.

Finally, just as the moon was reaching its peak in the night sky, meaning it was around midnight or one o'clock, I reached our house and sneaked inside, flinching every time a floorboard creaked or I ran into something. It always seems to be when you are trying to be stealthy when whatever grace you have leaves you and you turn into a bumbling klutz.

I sneaked into our room and flopped down onto my bed, ready for a good night's sleep. Unfortunately, Quaxo had other ideas.

_You know, _he began, _You are just as likely to become an alcoholic as I ever was. I remember how much you liked the champagne at Bustopher's holiday dinner; you wanted to ask for another glass but you didn't. And how could I forget the Thanksgiving wine fiasco before that? Didn't you drink nearly two glasses of the stuff? Mom had a heck of a time getting you home, as I recall. _

I flushed red and frowned; he had a point, but there was no way I would ever admit something like that to him. _I _was the intelligent one, the intuitive one. _He _was the drunkard. Not me. Never me.

_So I like wine and had a little too much once upon a time. I don't get drunk every chance I get, and I wouldn't if I wanted to. Besides, I couldn't afford to pay for an addiction to it; my tastes are far too expensive for a teenager's allowance. It's not like I can run into a quality liquor shop or raid Uncle's cellar anyway. And why would I? It was silly of you to even suggest it, and especially for me to give you a response. _I thought loftily, not realizing how childish and arrogant I was sounding in my embarrassment. Though, Quaxo most certainly did, and he pointed it out as soon as I quieted.

_You'd get used to the cheap stuff, or you would end up raiding Uncle's cellar. It's as simple as that. You could just as easily have been the one in AA as I could've. I just happen to have cheaper tastes in booze and that's...oh, wow! I sound intelligent! _At that, he was completely sidetracked, spending at least five minutes on how rare it was that he made sense or could best me in a battle of wills, _Wait. What was I talking to you about?_

_Something silly and irrelevant,_ I answered, not wanting to be berated by the drunk on how easily I could have been in his place and he in mine. I did not care to dwell on what might have been. He was an alcoholic and I was not. End of story. Not to mention, my low self-esteem didn't need to take another hit.

_No, wait! I think I remember! _He thought excitedly, _We were talking about how easily you could've-_

_Good night, Quaxo, _I interrupted him, rolling onto my side so I could sleep before school in the morning.

_But- _he whined softly.

_Good. Night._

Night, then. 


	13. Rebound

**A/N Please remember to review! They're the only things that keep me going, and I love your feedback!**

**Chapter Thirteen: Rebound **

~~Quaxo~~

"Quaxo, Mistoffelees, it's time to get up! You're going to be late for school!" Mom shouted, knocking on the door. I sighed and fell out of bed, pulling the blankets off of myself; she'd keep that banging up until one of us got up. I paused momentarily, lying on the floor; I felt much better than I had in recent days. I was puzzled until I realized why; I didn't have a hangover.

_That's _such _a feat there, Quaxo. I'm proud, _Mistoffelees thought dryly. I snorted and stood, rolling my shoulders happily. I guess not having a hangover was pretty good. Getting drunk was great when you wanted to drown sorrows, but hangovers will kill you in the morning, really. I couldn't decide then whether or not the drinking was worth it; I had a love-hate relationship with it.

With my deep thinking done for the day, I left the room and waved goodbye to Mom, stepping outside and heading towards Tumble's house. He was sure to be waiting for me, anyway.

_Of course, _Misto assured me boredly, _You two have a routine and I would be shocked if either one of you ever deviates from it, even after we've graduated._ I scoffed at his silliness and continued on my path. I wasn't _that _glued to a routine, was I? And, anyway, wasn't he the same way? All _he _ever did was complain about bullies that hadn't touched him in ages, daydream about Victoria, stalk Victoria, read, nag at me, and dance. Hmph.

_Ah, _he disagreed, _but I do do other things. I talk with my friends, do your homework, do my homework, comfort you, assist you, keep you from drinking, basically care for you in every way. You're my helpless little alter-ego. _I shot a glare at the nearest object in response to this, as I can't really glare at my brain, can I?

_What put you in such a bad mood? _I asked, a little less than conversationally. He only snorted in response and pointed out that I was at Tumblebrutus' house. I grinned and knocked on the door, waiting impatiently for him to show up. Only, it was his mother at the door and not Tumble.

"Quaxo," she said dryly, "Your mother said you weren't to visit Tumble again. Frankly, I agree. You two feed off of each other."

"Oh, come on, Jelly, you know me-" I whined, spreading my paws out imploringly. She raised a paw, silencing me.

"Which is exactly why you two are going to be kept apart as best as your mother and I can," Jellylorum snapped sternly. She paused and sniffed my shoulder, "You don't smell like booze. Is that Alcoholics Together or whatever it's called working, then?"

"It's Alcoholics Anonymous," I muttered, correcting her dryly, "And sure. Beck's just _great._ Smiles all the time, super preppy. I love it." With that, I turned grumpily around and left for school, not knowing what else to do, really.

_Because your routine's been interrupted. _Mistoffelees sniffed airily, sounding more full of himself than I did. Pft, and I thought _I _was arrogant.

_Misto, has all that dashing height and strength gone to your head, then? _

_Oh, no, if we were either of those, it would have gone to _your _head far before _mine. I scoffed at that remark; he really must be feeling important today. Those bullies had better find him and beat him up again, I thought. He was long overdue. Maybe they couldn't find him when his bookends weren't flanking him all the time. Hm..

I scratched my chin and was so involved in the process of making Mistoffelees miserable and returning his low self-esteem I so enjoyed making even lower that I entered the classroom silently and sat down without making my usual scene. Jennyanydots did a double-take when she saw that it was me sitting there, quietly and well-behaved. In fact, her expression was really pretty hilarious.

"Well, Quaxo," she said, as though she didn't really believe what she was seeing, "Did you do your schoolwork?" I smiled and nodded, handing her the completed papers with an eager smile I'd often felt on my face when Mistoffelees was wearing it. Jenny seemed to be absolutely stunned; she pressed her paw to her heart and closed her eyes. Maybe she thought I'd be my alter-ego when she opened them. I guess I disappointed her, because I wasn't going to change. My pretending to be a good kid was going to give her a heart attack, though, if I kept it up.

_See, everyone likes me more than they like you, because I'm mellow and polite and nice... Unlike you. _I rolled my eyes at that. He was so arrogant, and he didn't even admit it. I know I'm full of myself, at least.

_Yeah, Misto, everyone likes you. Everyone except the cats your own age, _I thought in retort. He didn't say anything. I guess he was trying the route of dignified silence, maybe? I don't know.

When school was over, a rather confused-looking Jenny held me back after class. I leaned against the wall and waited, bored, until she was finished putting away today's schoolwork.

"Well, Quaxo, I'll thank you for keeping your mouth shut during school. I know you seem to have an issue with doing that, so today was a pleasant surprise," she said, seeming to have a hard time keeping the abrasiveness out of her voice when she spoke to me.

"Sure thing," I said, smiling brightly and rather uncharacteristically. She stared after me as I left the school building. I love tormenting adults.

When I got home, Mom was busy fixing something to eat. It smelled like unhealthy fried food, which means she has bad news. She always makes comfort food when she's got to tell us something we probably won't like. But, for me, the junk food is always, _always _worth it. Yum.

_The way into the Quaxo's heart is not through affection, but through fried foods. _Mistoffelees muttered enigmatically. I smiled and agreed with him. Fried foods are worth any bad news, or so I assumed. I'd never really known what truly awful news was, but so long as it wasn't girl problems, I'd be fine, right?

Soon enough, Mom stepped into the main room, carrying a small tray of fried chicken, causing me to lick my lips..um, what's the word...

_Reflexively. _Mistoffelees supplied, all too helpfully. I grumbled under my breath.

_I like automatically better. _I replied, now that the word I'd wanted had been remembered. He snorted with mild contempt and sighed as I picked up a piece of the chicken Mom was offering and wolfed it down as quickly as I could. I guess he was keeping up a running commentary.

"So, when you're done eating, Quaxo," Mom began half-hesitantly, "I have something to tell both you and Misto. So make sure he's listening, too. It's really important. I don't want one or both of you ending up hurt. But I've got some good news, too. So don't feel too bad."

I nodded and finished off the chicken, wiping the grease off one my fur, which earned a dissapproving glare from my mother and a disgusted whine from Mistoffelees, who was asking if I couldn't possibly carry around a napkin, since I ate everything offered to me and there was no point running to fetch one every three minutes.

"Alright, Mom," I said amiably, "Fire away. Bad news first."

_Why not the good news? Doesn't my opinion matter?_

_I'll answer both questions. One, your whole existence is bad news, so you should be used to it by now. Two, your opinion has never mattered. Have a great day and thanks for visiting Quaxo's Tough Love Therapy! Come again!_

He didn't reply and mom was starting to speak. "Quaxo, Mistoffelees," she said gently, smiling sadly at her paws, "I know you two have a crush on Victoria. I know that, Mistoffelees, you're certain you're in love with her. You're certain she's the One. Quaxo, you think you love her, and you might have a better idea of it than your brother, but you don't want Victoria to leave you like Jemmy. You've seen that she likes Misto, too, and you think maybe you're ready to try again. Boys, am I right about this?"

I nodded, "Yes. You usually are, Mom. But we know all this. What's the bad news?"

"Well, kittens, she didn't think that she could work things out with Plato; Jelly told me. They grew distant...he tried to convince her to do things she was against...she tried to force him into a mold that suited her. And they had a bit of a rough breakup. Jennyanydots heard the whole thing. And now, loves, she's clinging to you two, flirting - while she was still with Plato, and I've heard rumors that you were at her house late at night. Boys, I think she's using you as a rebound tomfriend. I'm sorry."

I blinked, "A what?"

_What's _that?Mistoffeles echoed my words.

Mom paused; she hadn't anticipated our lack of knowledge on the subject. "Well," she thought for a moment, "When a queen breaks up with a tom they love, or even like, they hurt. A lot. And who will comfort them when they're sad, hold them when they're lonely, and say what she needs to hear? A new tomfriend. And, Mistoffelees, Quaxo, these relationships hardly ever last. They hurt both participants in the end, usually. I think Victoria wants someone who'll love her, and thinks you'll do."

_So, Victoria doesn't love us the way we love her. _Mistoffelees thought forlornly. I sighed.

_Nope._


	14. University for Exceptional Felines

**A/N Hey, people! I know I update slow, so please bear with me and hang tight. The school year is almost over here, so I should be maybe getting these up a little bit faster. I sure hope so. Drop a review by if you liked the fic. If you hated it, drop a review by anyway and tell me how to fix it. ;)**

**Oh, and the story seems to be winding down to a close. I think we'll have a happy ending, but you know I love emo crap so it's a toss-up. If you have any ideas or suggestions you want to see in here, tell me! And don't kill me for the emo-ness! I have a plan!**

**Chapter Fourteen: University for Exceptional Felines**

~~Quaxo~~

"What's the good news?" I asked, knowing it would probably cheer me up now that I was depressed.

_Or you'll be too sad to appreciate the value of the good news, you know. _Mistoffelees snapped in response to my optimism. He must really hate knowing I'm so much happier than he'll ever be, since he can't stop looking on the bad side of things; overthinking everything and deciding anything that can go wrong, will. He's so dull.

_Like you're the sharpest tool in the shed, _he replied sarcastically. I sighed.

_What does that even _mean? I thought, confused. Mom, who had wandered off, had returned with a letter of some sort in her paw. She sat down in her previous spot, directly in front of us, and began to read it while trying not to grin ecstatically.

"Mistoffelees-Quaxo, resident of the "Jellicle" Junkyard, has hereby been accepted into the University for Exceptional Felines. He may enroll any time during this school year or after and will be expected at the campus two weeks after such. He will need to choose his major and minor(s) and pick up a list of books after doing so," she folded up the paper and beamed over it at us. I could feel Mistoffelees excitement rising, but I really couldn't care less. A scholarship- wait. Twenty-year-old cats went there. And that meant Twenty-year-old _queens _would, no doubt, be running around the campus, and I've heard they actually wear _clothing,_ which make them look like they've got something that's too good for us toms to see. And that sparks curiosity. I think I could learn to like college.

_You're gross. Can't you wait to learn about the universe and it's mysteries?_

_The only mysteries I want to learn about is the mystery of why college queens are so sexy._

_Everlasting._

_Sexy everlasting? Awesome! _

"So, do you two want to enroll now and leave for college, which would make you the first cat in our family to get into a college - and it's a university, and you're only sixteen! - or do you want to finish school here and be caught up when you do go? Because you are going, Quaxo. Don't you doubt that, Mister. I won't have you ruining Mistoffelees' education along with his life."

I blinked at her sudden spurt of anger, "Yes, Mom. I'll ask Mistoffelees. Okay?" She smiled.

_Well..._he paused, seeming torn and a little hurt, _Without Victoria...I don't think there's anything to stay for, is there? I mean...we have so few friends, and they sure won't miss us, y'know? You'll have to stay for your AA until you're clean, I'm sure, but other than that and Mom, we have absolutely nothing holding us here._

I thought about that for a moment. Mom would force me into staying with AA until I stopped drinking, I was sure. _Yeah. Makes sense. We need some new opportunities, don't we? A chance for you to find some more nerd buddies and for me to get away from this reputation I'm sure I have from all this boozing around._

_Right...go ahead and tell Mom, then. I still feel almost sick over leaving, but we'll get over it, I'm sure._

"We've decided to go as soon as I'm done with AA. We...we don't have anything keeping us here, like Misto said," I mumbled, feeling down. Wow. Good news had depressed me. I had to think happy thoughts. College queens. College queens. College queens...

_Please stop. You're disgusting._

_I swear you're either gay or have been neutered somehow without me noticing it. College equals school equals bad. College _queens_ equal sexy equal good. Very good._

_Just...just stop. I have something I need to take care of before you go to AA tonight, okay? I really need to do something._

I sighed and relinquished control, wondering what he needed to do so soon. I mean, we'd have lots of unfinished goodbyes and plans, but only when we were a week from leaving. Not now, when we'd have possibly months to tell everyone we were leaving.

~~Mistoffelees~~

I sighed and looked up at Mom, "Are y-y-you sure you w-want t-t-to leave us at-t a univ-v-versity...all alone?" We were, as she'd so proudly stated, going to college at the age of _sixteen_. Surely that had to be illegal? Wouldn't we need a guardian?

She smiled, "I don't think I can leave right now...I've got to tell you something else, baby." I raised an eyebrow. More good news? More bad news? "You know Asparagus Junior, the brown and grey tom that's a year or so older than me?"

I nodded, fairly certain I knew where this was going.

_I do! They've been getting it on when we weren't hovering! I don't know whether I like the idea of Mom happy or if Asp getting frisky with her just creeps me out._

She continued, "Well, he asked me to be his mate recently, so he'll be moving in, since I don't think his den has a room just for you two. And I don't want to leave you, but I trust you. You two mess up once and I'm going to pick you up and take you home until you graduate here. All right, honey?"

I smiled, and it grew into a grin, "If h-h-he makes-s you happy, I'm happy t-t-t-t-too." Mom beamed at me and pulled me into a bear hug, kissing my face and I thought she'd started bawling. This was proven true when she let out a strange noise somewhere between a sob and a laugh.

"I'm just so happy that you're already going to college! You're just sixteen, and I don't want to leave you, but college is something for you to do without me hovering. Oh, baby, please be good! I trust you, but keep Quaxo out of trouble. You're still so young and I don't want you moving away...please come back to visit, or Asp and I'll come visit you," she said, leaning back and wiping her nose with a tissue. "I'll save the real tears for your goodbye trip, okay?"

I nodded, standing and giving her a quick kiss on the cheek, realizing I'd grown. I was taller than her, if only by an inch or so. I knew I'd inherited her build and not my father's. Ah, well; the less of him I had in me, the better. Then I left the house and headed toward Coricopat and Tantomile's. I had to fix this; they were my only friends and I'd ignored them ever since our fight. I hadn't even _tried _to make this better. I would now, at least.

_I can see it now; "Oh, f-f-f-forgive m-me, my l-l-love! C-C-Cori, I c-can't keep-p th-th-this s-secret-t-t any longer! I l-l-love you! Oh, h-h-hi, T-Tanto. L-Love you too." It'll become a major motion picture that the humans watch and your stuttering awkwardness will make you _famous!

I frowned, clenching my paws. Why did I have to inherit all the brains? Couldn't whatever had caused this have given him a little smarts? He was so annoying. _I do not have a crush on either of them. Besides, I think that they like the other set of twins. Mungo and Rump?_

_You know why they call her Rump? Because she's got one nice a-_

_Shut up right now. Just leave me be while I try to fix this up, okay?_

"Well, Quaxo's actually right. They call her Rump for a reason, and that's it," a familiar voice said, causing me to look up. Coricopat was standing in front of me, grinning, while Tantomile looked at her feet. I suppose talking about queens really wasn't a favorite pastime of hers.

"H-hey, C-C-Cori, T-Tanto. I c-came to apologiz-ze," I mumbled softly, looking down at my feet. Tantomile stepped closer.

"It's fine, really. We-" she began warmly, or as warmly as a distant cat such as her can be.

"were just on our way to apologize to you when-" Coricopat continued, looking thoroughly amused with something.

"Quaxo just happened to scream his thoughts loud enough for us to hear it a mile away," Tantomile finished, smirking as I looked up and chuckled weakly. That was Quaxo for you. He couldn't even _think _quietly.

_I resent that._

_You mean represent?_

_Uh, depends on what either of those words mean._

_You represent it. Just go with that.  
_

"You two sure do fight-" Coricopat began, chuckling.

"a lot. More than Cori and I do." Tantomile said. I smiled and asked if there was anything specific they wanted to do. We went to the park for a bit, and Tantomile spotted Victoria reclining on a bench beside an older human woman. I stiffened.

"Well, I think you have something to say to her?" The psychic queen prodded, shoving Coricopat off without a second thought. Apparently she wanted to give me advice alone. Though I already knew that Coricopat would hear about it easily enough. "Don't you want to explain to her that you're going away?" I sighed and looked at her, trying to make myself seem even more pitiful than usual.

_That's not too difficult._

_Shut up._

"Oh, you can't just leave her without a word!" She hit Coricopat, who'd sneaked back here to finish her sentences.

"Oh...I...a-alright," I sighed and walked over to Victoria, and the older woman picked me up.

"Oh! I was sure you were a _girl _kitty, since you're so tiny!" She picked me up and eyed me again, "But no, you're definitely the smallest tomcat I've ever seen! That's so adorable. Do you want some fish, Mr. Kitty?"

"Let g-g-go!" I meowed, knowing full well she couldn't understand me. Victoria smiled and tried not to laugh.

"Aww, isn't that cute? Mr. Kitty can't meow properly. He stutters, doesn't he, Miss Kitty?" The woman turned towards Victoria as if to ask her opinion. She smirked.

"Misto, the less you squirm, the sooner she'll put you down," she said calmly, eating a piece of fish the woman had obviously given her. I sighed and waited until she put me down, then climbed over and sat down by Victoria, grooming my bib.

"I have t-t-t-to t-tell you something," I said quickly. Before the white queen had a chance to reply, to woman spoke, asking if I was "Miss Kitty's" boyfriend and saying that we'd better not be fooling around, because she couldn't feed more cats and we were sure to have lots. I blushed, looking down. Victoria smirked and snuggled up against me, purring and grooming my headfur. I couldn't help wondering if she was doing this to please the woman. I mean, she obviously didn't love me. I shouldn't have been surprised. The only thing I have going for me is that a few of my traits could be considered adorable. I hate that word. _Adorable. _

"Well," Victoria said anxiously when I stared at my paws, lost in thought, "we are dating, aren't we? That's what I thought it was...but if you don't feel the same...tell me." I winced; she was really laying the caring queenfriend act on a little thick, wasn't she?

_Maybe she does like us!_

_No. Mom knows about these things. She's right, I'm sure. Victoria can't love someone like us anyway. I mean, we're a little messed up, aren't we, Quaxo?_

"W-well, I g-got a scholars-s-ship and I r-r-really n-need the c-career chances. We're l-l-leaving as soon as Q-Quaxo gets clean," I said softly, unable to look at her. She didn't love me. I was a crude replacement for Plato. She didn't love me. She didn't love me...

"But...Misto...Misto, I thought we had something," she began, hissing softly and causing the old woman to scold her, "I thought you cared for me and weren't going to run away. What did I do?"

I sighed, deciding it would be best to come out with the truth, "I know y-y-y-you're using me as a-a r-r-rebound. I know you d-don't really like anyth-th-thing about me. I'm a r-replacement." And then I ran off to go sit by Tantomile and Coricopat, who had recently returned. I could hear her crying from across the park, and she looked at me with absolute hatred. Maybe Mom was wrong this time. And now I'd ruined any chance I'd had of a steady relationship.

"Ooh, nicely done," Coricopat said, shaking his head. "Ouch."


End file.
